Week 8 Pickups: What can Bryce Brown do for you?

Amazingly, it’s another good week for the running back needy, and some of you likely lost your starters this week with C.J. Spiller and Fred Jackson going down. I would have hoped you’d replace Spiller by now, but I know it’s hard to give up on those preseason plans.

I’ll typically assume most previous pickup suggestions┬áhave been secured in your league each week, but be sure to snag any Giants receivers that are available as they go on bye this week. That offense could get back on track when next we see them take the field.

I’d also prioritize Branden Oliver over this entire list, despite his somewhat disappointing performance against the Chiefs, who are playing better than most are giving them credit.

But enough with the intros. Let’s get to the picks. Continue reading

On the Waiver Wire: Brian Westbrook LIVES, Week 13 Pickups, and a Massive Collection of Advice to Get Your Team Right for the Fantasy Football Playoffs

I hate handcuffing. I always feel like handcuffs are a waste of a roster spot, and I’d rather have a starting running back from another team than carry a guy who doesn’t play just in case my starter goes down. The backups are rarely as good or as big a part of the offense as their starting counterpart anyway. At least that’s what I told myself until this week.

Apparently, karma chose to teach me a lesson this season. My top picks in two leagues, Frank Gore and Adrian Peterson, were both hit with the injury bug this week just before I start my playoff runs in Week 14. I don’t own either handcuff.

Obviously, I drafted these two teams on Indian burial grounds. My two starting tight ends in these leagues were Dallas Clark and Jermichael Finley.

Beyond snagging the fantasy fallout from these two studs’ injuries, waiver wire pickups for the rest of the season depend on matchups more than ever. You’d be surprised how many owners don’t look ahead and decide which players they should cut ties with and which ones they should stash for the playoffs. As we round out the regular season, you should fortify your roster for Weeks 14-16, assuming that’s your fantasy football playoff.

Regular season wins don’t matter anymore. It’s all about the playoffs.

I’ll hit the highlights on a few guys I like the most that are readily available this week. As a side note, this post will be our last traditional waiver wire post for the rest of the season. If you’re in the playoffs, I assume you’ve strengthened your roster. If not, look back the last few weeks of “On the Wire” posts.

If you’re not in the playoffs, I’m guessing you don’t want to hear anything more about players that could have made your team better, but you can look back at the archives all the same. It’s always nice to play spoiler at the end of the year, even if you have nothing to gain but pride and a new in-season rival. In-season rivals are the best.

Brian Westbrook, RB, 49ers – He’s obviously the most high-priority add to come out of Week 12. With Frank Gore done for the year, Westbrook will become the engine of this offense. Troy Smith hasn’t been able to learn the full playbook since joining the 49ers, which has forced them to feed the ball to their running game. You’ll hear some warnings out there that Anthony Dixon has more value as the rookie with fresher legs to replace Gore, but I’m still choosing Westbrook over Dixon if given the choice. They went with Westy all night against the Cardinals until the game was out of reach, and I think they’ll continue to do more of the same. San Francisco would rather play it safe with Westbrook and his experience than hand the majority of their offense over to a rookie.

Anthony Dixon, RB, 49ers — That said, Dixon isn’t a bad add if you miss out on Westbrook or get Westy and want to make sure you lock up the 49ers rushing attack. Dixon will at least see some goal line looks, and he’s the better North-South runner at this point. Westbrook, while impressive against the Cardinals, hasn’t seen much playing time and is injury prone late in his career. We’ll know more about how these two runners will split the carries after we see them face the Packers in Week 13, having had a full week to practice together and work on the game plan, but I’m betting Westbrook gets as much as he can handle before Dixon gets his chance.

Toby Gerhart, RB, Vikings — He’s next on the list even though I don’t believe he’ll have much value. The last reports on Adrian Peterson’s ankle injury say it’s only a sprain and that the Vikings fully expect to have him Week 13 against the Bills. Gerhart might see more work to give A.P. a light workload his first game back, but by Week 14 and 15, you won’t want to be relying on a backup running back. If you own Peterson, Gerhart is a must add. Otherwise, put him behind all the other backs listed as a stash in case Peterson’s injury ends up being more serious than what we’ve heard so far.

Tashard Choice, RB, Cowboys — Choice is the running back of “choice” in Dallas now that Marion Barber will be out for at least two weeks. Fantasy veterans will remember how he exploded late in 2008 when Felix Jones and Barber both missed time. While Felix hasn’t shown any signs of slowing, Choice has talent and could carve out a portion of the running game for himself even if Jones continues to start for the Cowboys. He’ll at least see the goal line looks for two weeks with Barber out, and that makes him worthy of being added to rosters this week. You might hit the jackpot if Barber has a setback and if Jones is injured in the next two weeks. The Cowboys’ schedule is inviting with Indy, Philly, Washington, and then the horrible, horrible defense of the Cardinals in Week 16.

Jonathan Stewart, RB, Panthers — Like a brokeback cowboy, I just can’t quit The Daily Show. Mike Goodson’s been an awakening for the Panthers are running back, but Stewart was more effective with his carries in Week 12. Maybe some of Goodson’s workmanship productivity will rub off on Stewart. He wasn’t able to do much of anything prior to his concussion, but The Daily Show should earn back more and more of the running game as the season winds down.

Goodson will stay involved and has some value since he’s been so productive during Stewart’s absence, but both Stewart and Goodson are interviewing for jobs next season. DeAngelo Williams will be gone, and it’s probably going to be a split backfield with Stewart taking the lead duties and Goodson providing a burst on third downs and catching passes out of the backfield like Williams used to do. The schedule isn’t too kind in Week 14 or Week 16 for either Carolina back, but you’ll definitely want to start either Stewart or Goodson in Week 15 against the Cardinals.

Chris Ivory, RB, Saints – People keep saying that the Saints touchdown vulture is about to fall off the fantasy value cliff, but he’s stuck around. Even with Reggie Bush back on Thanksgiving, he got the touchdowns where it counted and put up decent yardage. I’m sure he’s owned in most touchdown-heavy leagues, but I’d consider picking him up in standard leagues for the fantasy playoffs.

Pierre Thomas may come back in the next two weeks, but with Thomas’ injury taking so long to heal, I don’t think they’ll want to put him in harm’s way near the end zone when they have a proven weapon like Ivory, who hasn’t disappointed. The Saints’ remaining schedule through Week 16 has them facing the Bengals, Rams, Ravens, and Falcons. Those last two are tougher than most, but I’d snag Ivory for this week against the Bengals and next week against the Rams. If the Saints’ offense can deliver him to the goal line for multiple scores in those two, I might even consider giving him a chance in Week 15 against the Ravens as well.

Danario Alexander, WR, Rams — I went on and on about Alexander when he had his first breakout game earlier this season. I loved his potential, and I still do. In his first game back, he was the leading receiver, even though he was only playing 20 snaps. He added that spark the Rams have needed. Outside of PPR leagues, he’s the Rams wide receiver I want to start, and if you look ahead at his matchups (Cardinals, Saints, Chiefs, 49ers), he’s not looking so bad outside of that Week 14 in New Orleans.

Take Alexander’s schedule, add that the Rams like to throw the ball, that Bradford emerged for his first 300+ yard game in Week 12 (with Alexander leading in yards and tied with two other receivers for most targets), and that the tight end Bradford loved the most, Michael Hoomanawanui, is now out with a high ankle sprain, and you have a recipe for another fantasy breakout for the young Rams’ talent.

I’d play him this week against the Cardinals, but all that said, I do have to caution that he is playing on borrowed knees–literally. His injury risk is red on the advisory system, but I’ll still give him the green light if you need that extra something for the playoffs at wide receiver.

Earl Bennett, WR, Bears — When Jay Cutler first got traded to Chicago, Bennett received a lot of talk as a sleeper. They were teammates at Vanderbilt, and Cutler, in a way, made Bennett into a star. In the NFL, the two have not connected as often. Bennett has been the second or third wide receiver on the Bears’ depth chart for some time, but the passing game has never been reliable or explosive enough to make Bennett a fantasy star. It looked like it was getting there in Week 12 against the Eagles.

Mike Martz may have finally settled into a playbook that suits the Bears. All of their weapons, including Devin Hester and Greg Olsen, got involved. Bennett scored twice. If you look at the remaining schedule for the Bears (at the Lions, Patriots, at the Vikings, Jets), they have a nice road ahead until Week 16 against the Jets. And even in that game, Bennett is less likely to get shut down as the No. 3 guy in many sets. If I’m short a wide receiver for the playoffs, Bennett is my second choice after Alexander. Johnny Knox is more reliable, but Bennett should get his looks, too.

Jacoby Ford, WR, Raiders — If no one picked up the speedster in Oakland, you should make a run at him this week. His playoff schedule is nice (Jaguars, Broncos, Colts), and he seems to be the only receiver who can inflict massive damage for the Raiders. As long as Jason Campbell looks his way in Week 13, I’d consider starting him in the playoffs as a WR3.

Blair White or Austin Collie, WR, Colts — Whichever one of these Colts’ receivers starts in any given week will have value. A very angry Peyton Manning will be suiting up against a decent but not formidable schedule in the fantasy playoffs (Titans, Jags, Raiders) and trying to destroy the world to get into Indy into the  real NFL playoffs. I wouldn’t want to stand  in his way. Both of these receivers have a nose for the end zone, and Manning will go to them without hesitation. The only issue I have with them is that they could just as easily have one catch for 7 yards and a touchdown as they could have five catches for 70 yards and three touchdowns.

Davone Bess, WR, Dolphins — Bess is very reliable as a PPR receiver as long as Chad Henne is the Dolphins’ quarterback, but his matchups are tougher than they look for the fantasy playoffs (Jets, Bills, Lions). I’d still consider starting him down the stretch if you need someone consistent, but as  a Marshall owner, I’m still hoping Marshall’s return will steal some of Bess’ thunder and production. Bess outperformed Marshall for a good part of this season, but the Dolphins best matchups in the playoffs (Bills, Lions) could become statement games for Marshall to prove trading for him was not a waste of the Dolphins’ draft picks–fingers crossed. Still, there could be scraps for Bess regardless of the matchup or Marshall’s contributions.

I dug deep for fantasy football advice all over the Web this week since I was trying to turn a dead but playoff-bound team (the one that just lost Frank Gore) into a fantasy zombie for Weeks 14-16. Now 21 waiver wire claims later, I feel pretty good about the team.

Below is my compiled list of waiver wire pickup recommendations, fantasy football playoff advice, and matchup analysis. It’s all worth a read if you have the time, but pay special attention the analysis previewing playoff potential and which players are getting hot at the right time, especially Fantasy O Matic’s look at defensive trends over the last five weeks, which I found especially interesting. H/T to FF Librarian for bringing it to my attention.

  • If you’re looking for something along the lines of an add/drop for the fantasy playoffs, SI’s Fire Sale column by Thomas Casale is it. It’s a great read, and you know I believe in Alexander’s and Bennett’s potential. It also may be time, as Casale notes, to give up on Vincent Jackson. He’ll miss two games, which puts him back to Week 15 as an effective start, and that’s assuming that his injury will heal right back to 100 percent. There are too many targets in San Diego, but if you have the room to keep him on your bench and wait, you might as well see what you have in him.
  • The FF Geek Blog hammers out another spreadsheet this week that lists more quarterbacks than most of the other waiver wire posts I’ve seen. If you’re in need of a playoff passer, take a look at their thoughts.
  • FF Toolbox touches on several of the big name adds, but I imagine most of these guys are taken in competitive leagues.
  • I think he sells a few of these guys short, but Lester’s Legends offers up his Get ‘em or Don’t Sweat ‘em for Week 13.
  • I like everyone Fanhouse and The Hazean tout as an add this week.
  • You’ll always find great links from the Fantasy Football Librarian.
  • NFL.com has some risky quarterback adds but, otherwise, presents a solid lineup of pickups.
  • Hatty Waiver Wire Guru talks through the week’s top pickups and players to watch if you’re still left wanting.
  • To think, last week I almost dropped Jay Cutler, and this week, he’s among the top adds on the waiver wire at Razzball. Glad I didn’t make that mistake.
  • I doubt most of SI’s “Decision Time” players for Week 13 are on the waiver wire, but a few like Jonathan Stewart might be available. Get them on your roster if you’re still trying to make the playoffs this week. SI’s waiver wire column also has some names to target.
  • Be aware that those “Points Against” rankings you’ve been looking at all season may not tell the whole picture. Fantasy O Matic broke down the defensive performances over the past five weeks and compared it to the season-long rankings to give a more accurate picture of who should flourish and who should suffer in the fantasy playoffs. It’s a must read for anyone playoff bound alongside their previous post on the best playoff matchups.
  • Rotoworld’s Chris Wesseling loves him some Westbrook this week and believes he’s capable of RB2 numbers the rest of the way. I missed out on Westbrook, so I’ll have to hope Dixon gets a piece of that.
  • The Fifth Down thinks Sam Bradford is ripe enough to start. I can’t really disagree with them this week as he faces the Cardinals.
  • Matthew Berry, ESPN’s TMR, pays tribute to Leslie Nielsen and plays back all the pickups he’s recommended over the last several weeks as well as the new guys like Westbrook and James Davis.
  • Pro Football Focus runs down all the hot prospects down to the sleepers and ones to watch the rest of this season.
  • The Scores Report may have covered every player that’s out there on waivers right now. Impressive.

The League S02E05: This ain’t no sprint. It’s “The Marathon”

NOTARIZER! This fifth episode of Season 2 was one of the funniest yet. Pete’s back to plotting against Andre as Andre vainly tries to prove his superiority to the league, Kevin’s having issues at home with Jenny, Ruxin’s taking on “charity terrorism” like only the most sinister office dweller could, and Taco’s off on a mission to make a quick buck…or is it to hit on women? The two usually go hand in hand with him.

Season 1 of “The League” set the bar pretty high for raunchy comedy, and I think it’s taken a few episodes for “The League” to really hit its stride again. I thought last week’s episode had finally reestablished the spiteful, insane plots that made Season 1 so hilarious, but this week topped it. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that.

But now we need to get on to the episode. You don’t come here to read what I have to say, amirite?

Wait, really?

This week, we begin with Andre announcing that he is running the marathon for charity in a video to the league.

But as is required when Andre does something without concern for his own reputation, Pete takes his little humanitarian mission and morphs it into a journey in the wayback machine through all of Andre’s sordid past exercise crazes, including a stripper pole and anal kegels. Yes, anal kegels.

This video led me to two thoughts: 1) The Internet was invented to make fun of people like Andre. And 2) All fantasy football league hosting sites (You listening, ESPN? Yahoo!? Fleaflicker?) need to get on this video trash-talking feature from “The League.”

I was entertained by it when it appeared throughout Season 1, but now I’m jealous of it after seeing the joy it brings to Season 2. And yes, I realize it’s largely a writer device to save us from screenshots of message board bashing within the league site. I STILL WANT IT!

If you’ve maintained a responsible level of sobriety through the first four episodes, you’ll remember that Jenny is now a member of the league. A lady has joined the crew. So she comes out to the bar for the weekly night of trash-talk, but she doesn’t bring much talk. Instead, Kevin and Jenny get all lovey-dovey in the bar even though they are head-to-head this week. Blasphemy.

“There is no love in the league.” Roll clip.

This love, of course, creates concern that they will cheat their way to victory in the league, and Ruxin is having none of that.

But wait, Andre’s got something in his mouth: Sports Performance Utility Nutrition Kick, AKA (that’s right) S.P.U.N.K.

Many a priceless thing could be said here, and the league did a pretty good job of covering all of them. See the one-liners below for the brilliance.

After SPUNK-ing himself, Andre attempts to use his marathon running as a pick-up line on the waitress, but Pete makes sure that doesn’t happen by using the same line, declaring that he also is running the marathon and stealing Andre’s thunder. So establishes the Andre struggle for this week.

Post-bar, Jenny and Kevin are having a little of the sexy time, but her trash-talking kills the mood. No one wants to hear about Frank Gore when they are about to have sex. No one but maybe Frank Gore. The following morning, Kevin and Jenny make a pact to not let the league come between them and their marriage, which is a great idea that will never work, just like a combined line at the express checkout counters at the grocery store. Some idiot always picks one like he’s the first person to think of it. (No one likes you, guy. We had a great system here.) Kevin also realizes, for the very first time, that Hotel Rwanda was based on a true story — truly one of the best moments of this episode.

Meanwhile, Pete stayed out all night with the waitress and runs into Andre training for his big run. They decide to wager $2000 on who will have the better run time. This can only end well.

And back at the office, Ruxin takes on Team Twila, the “charity terrorist” who is raising money for her own entry into the marathon. You can always tell an argument went well when it ends with “I can’t believe I work in an office full of hungry, hungry hippos.”

At Kevin’s house, the gang is all together. Andre runs there and smells like teen spirit, but he’s still game for a “hydrating” (read: chugging) contest with Pete. Pete plays with beer and wins (by reaching the bottom of bottle). Andre plays with water and loses (by tears, tears always mean lose).

A conversation with Jenny leaves the guys abuzz about how Kevin and Jenny’s marriage is like “awkward Wimbledon” now that they are going head to head in the league. When Kevin sees an alert pop up about Frank Gore’s turf toe, he has a tough decision. Dick move: pick up the backup to Frank Gore and block Jenny from having a great matchup this week. Husband move: tell his wife that Frank Gore is injured. The guys all encourage him to finish her off. Ruxin even throws out the vintage “SWEEP THE LEAGUE, JOHNNY!” but Kevin is torn. SPOILER: He chooses to be a dick!

And by the way, if “The League” curse strikes again and Gore is injured this week, I’m sending hate mail.

Now that Twila is on a mission to ruin Ruxin, she gives him a hard time when he needs documents notarized for a big trial — the BP defense against the Gulf Coast fishermen (I would expect no less from Ruxin). But luckily, his mention of the “cu-notary” earlier in the week has convinced Taco that he has a future as a notarizer. “El Notario” even sends out a video to the league advertising his services. You may remember him as the premiere dealer of three-penis wine.

The business has Taco itching to burn money since he’s not one to have a bank account. So he’s buying rounds. Andre shows up with his number, 1729, and, as Ruxin says, “dressing like the fifth member of Color Me Bad.”

A women strikes up a conversation with Taco for urgent notary services, and he takes her away to his office in the men’s bathroom to do business. But the situation soon turns ugly when Taco notarizes not only her document but also her ass (for free!). On her way out the door, with Taco in tow, they bump into Andre, which sends him to the floor with turf toe. I guess it really is that easy to get injured. No marathon for Andre.

Ruxin pays a visit to Taco in an attempt to get his documents notarized before his trial. A Sizzler gift card gets Taco out of retirement, which he had entered into after “the life” wore him out in just one week.

Fast-forward to Sunday, and Jenny shows up at some kind of sports bar (a new place?) to meet the guys and watch the games. She picked up Anthony Dixon instead of Frank Gore’s backup, which Kevin had stashed, and the third-stringer ends up getting all the points in Gore’s stead. Kevin’s dick move backfired, and once again, “The League” is pretty spot on about which players would benefit from an injury. Even with Glen Coffee retired, which surprised everyone, Brian Westbrook is now the backup to Frank Gore, but he would probably only play a small role while Dixon did most of the heavy lifting if Gore was to miss time. Either they do some brilliant work in editing or “The League” has an inside source better than Adam Schefter himself.

Twila shows up and interrupts Taco’s notarizing of Ruxin’s documents to reveal that “El Notario” doesn’t even have a valid notary license. His stamp is from Venezuela. You should have known that Taco wouldn’t do it the hard way, Ruxin. And so, Taco hangs up his notary spurs…err, stamp, and Ruxin has to make a deal with Twila to get her to notarize his documents.

Jenny points out how fun it is to watch games when you actually have something on the line, but…she soon realizes that Kevin and her neglected to get Ellie over to a friend’s house after gymnastics. They rush off to be parents.

Andre’s confronted by Pete, who claims to have run the marathon and demands his money, and as Andre chases Pete off on his turf toe, Ruxin tries S.P.U.N.K. (and seems to like it).

To wrap the episode, we go back to the bedroom with Kevin and Jenny, only this time, Kevin’s talking dirty about how well Jenny’s team did against him. What a freaky fetish.

Best of the one-liner quotes from Episode 5

ANDRE: “Spunk is amazing.” “I love spunk” “I like the black kind” (Really, everything Andre said about S.P.U.N.K.)

KEVIN: “I don’t want to talk smack when I’m about to enter you.” and “I just basically have to tie a stick to it to get it in now.”

RUXIN: “It’s almost a jihad against my wallet.”

RUXIN: “I also love The Country’s Best Yogurt, but I don’t expect you to pay me to go on the elliptical to work it off.”

RUXIN: “Andre, you smell like eighth grade kids who haven’t learned to use deodorant yet.”

PETE: “This women’s basketball game…this is like the ‘Heartbreak Hill’ of channel surfing.”

RUXIN: “Think of me as your University of Phoenix.”

JENNY: “There is absolutely no love in the league.”

Looking to the next episode: Let’s hope for more Taco employment options and more Ruxin at work. I think that’s where he shines.

But wait, wouldn’t you love to ask your pals from “The League” all your pressing fantasy football questions? Well, you can. Fantasy Football Nerd is currently taking questions for the cast of the “The League” that will be answered before Week 8. Get on over there and enter your questions.

[ Jump to Episode 6: “The Anniversary Party” ]