When things get back to normal, they also have to get weird. In the same week that Drew Brees blows apart the Giants like they read their defensive playbook to him as a bedtime story, Tom Brady returns to dominance in a frozen tundra that kept the Titans quarterbacks, both of them, for throwing for positive yardage.
I’d like to think that we have Brady back for good—mostly because I traded for him earlier this season in one league while he was struggling. But there’s no guarantee that this temporary return to form for many of the leagues top fantasy prospects sticks around. After all, the Raiders beat the Eagles this week…
Pigeon trumps Eagle. A lot of things didn’t go the Eagles way on Sunday. They lost Jason Peters. The forgot they had a running game, and obviously, the forces of nature of a higher power turned against them as an innocent-seeming pigeon became the Raiders twelfth man on special teams.
That is a winged sign of bad things to come to say the least.
The bird was all over that contain, and the Raiders didn’t even need him to bottle up the Eagles in this one.
Will this Raiders squad we saw on Sunday play the rest of their games this season? I doubt it. It seems they came together as one and played like the games mattered again, but in another week, they could lose that spark. At least they get Chaz Schilens back this week.
The New England Patriots marched out into the cold against “the best 0-5 team in football” and killed it. They spanked the Titans all over the field like Tennessee didn’t even have a secondary out there, and to be honest, they didn’t. Both starting corners missed this one with injuries.
The Patriots looks like the 2007 incarnation that fantasy owners know and love.
I think we all know why they’re back. Tom Brady has obviously sold his soul to the devil for powers unmatched by any mere mortal quarterback. The truth is out. He’s going to hell.
Tough, I know, but Belichick does ask a lot of his players.
Now the one question remains: To whom did Drew Brees sell his soul?
In weeks like these, you have to question your strategy. Did you play the right guy based on matchups or did you go with your studs? In truth, it’s always a hard call.
If you sat Matt Schaub to play Donovan McNabb or put Ray Rice on your bench against the Vikings, you may be regretting your decision. I did the former but not the latter, which allowed Rice to make up those points I lost by starting McNabb.
Take me back to Sunday morning, and I’d still make the same call. McNabb was the smart play. He just didn’t play smart on Sunday.
This week I also had to watch Matt Forte just ruin his night against the Falcons. He made me regret starting him over Cadillac Williams. Going into Monday night’s game with just the Denver defense, I had all but given up. There was no hope for a victory with 17 points to make up with just a defense in the Blogger League.
But then Eddie Royal happened. I gained a lot of respect for the Denver defense tonight, even more than I had given them up to this point. The Patriots seemed vulnerable when they got beat by Denver in overtime. The Cowboys seemed to attack the Broncos with the wrong strategy—why throw to Champ Bailey? Why?
The Chargers did everything they could to win against the Broncos in a game they needed to win to get back on track, but the Broncos didn’t let them do anything. With a sack-counting defense, a stifling run defense, one of the best corners in the game and now a threat in the return game, the Broncos might just be the best fantasy defense on the board when the season is over. How insane is that?
I once heard that Peyton Manning can hear us think our own thoughts. In the huddle, he thinks so hard that the middle linebacker opposing him get headaches.
Headaches lead to fear; fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; and hate leads to Manning’s audible at the line that allows his laser-sighted, rocket arm to put one in the end zone…
But why are we even talking about that guy? He’s out this week. How will we survive? Now on to the Week 6 hotties…
Hot Hands Start of the Week
Tom Brady, QB, Patriots vs. Titans
It’s crazy, I know, to think that any of you wouldn’t be starting Tom Brady, but consider this your reminder that he’s going to get everything right this week—no missing Randy Moss in the end zone, no short throws at Wes Welker’s feet. This week, the Patriots face the Tennessee Titans, currently starting two nice old ladies and a talking garbage can in the secondary.
Brady should destroy all hope that the Titans could win a game before the bye week, and if he doesn’t, well, we can all slam our heads into an NFL-sized helmet…or a wall…that works for some people…
Alas, this is just me wishing that I had ever been cool enough to deserve the nickname “Beer Truck.” What does that even mean? Does that mean you drink a lot of beer or that you are always carrying beer? Like that tailgater that’s always walking around and never finds the party…?
On second thought, that nickname doesn’t sound so cool.
Also hotter than normal this week:
Cedric Benson, RB, Bengals vs. Texans: Great googily-moogily. Benson is booming through defenses like boat parties in Cincinnati. I don’t understand it. They have Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco, but the star of this offense is Benson bus. This guy is bruising, and he currently leads the league in rushing. He should continue to do so after four quarters against the Houston Texans, Australian for terrible.
That’s true by the way. I do speak Australian.
Willie Parker, RB, Steelers vs. Browns: I actually like Rashard Mendenhall, too, but you have to remember that Willie once had “Fast” before his name. That said, Mendy’s earned his touches after playing some great football in Parker’s absence. If the offensive line blocks anywhere close to the way they did for Mendenhall against the Chargers, both Mendenhall and Parker could be hitting some out of the park. Well, just as long as Mendenhall doesn’t have swine flu. The Browns are bad, stains on underpants bad.
Braylon Edwards, WR, Jets vs. Bills: Jerricho Cotchery will be out nursing his hamstring this week, and in his stead, Edwards is going to destroy the Bills just like he destroyed the Dolphins on Monday night. I’m not sure who he stole the hands he’s using from, but Randy Moss might just want to make sure everything’s still attached down there. Maybe all Edwards needed was some of those brighter Broadway lights. Thomas Jones shouldn’t disappoint against the shameful Buffalo run defense either.
Ray Rice, RB, Ravens vs. Vikings: I know the matchup doesn’t look good on paper, but call me a glass half-full. Rice plays a part in the passing game, and he could easily put up yardage and another receiving score against the Vikings if the Ravens get it together. I’m listing him here not to tell you to start him over a stud with a better matchup but simply to declare my undying belief that Ray Rice was the best pick I made in my drafts this year. He’s a good start on any given Sunday.
All your Packers vs. Lions: Sure, easy call, but sometimes people don’t think straight. It drives me mad to read comments from people who refuse to play their matchups in these situations because they have some crazy idea in their head. Okay, okay, I often have crazy ideas in my head, but not as bad as some people. This game is a lay-up, and we may already know who’s catching the Packers first pass when the offense takes the field Sunday.
Jake Delhomme, QB, Panthers vs. Bucs: It’s Tampa. What do you want from me? I don’t love the guy, but I could stand starting him in a bind this week.
Cold Shoulders Sit of the Week
LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, Chargers vs. Broncos
Oh, the mighty have fallen, and they fell so hard it created a vortex of suck on their way down. I don’t really care that the Chargers are coming off of a bye. The Broncos just shut down the Patriots and proved they were worth the praise they’ve been getting, and Josh McDaniels is going to fist pump all over the Chargers.
Mike Nolan’s revitalizing his career by making game plans that just frustrate the holy hell out of other teams, and he should have no trouble making sure the slightly less effective running back of the Chargers stays that way.
It’s also pretty likely that the Broncos run the ball like crazy down through the Chargers defensive line considering how well that worked for the Steelers a few weeks ago. Since losing their nose tackle, San Diego’s been starting a matador in the middle of their line, and he’s waving everyone through. There might even be hope for Larry Johnson to score on this defensive line, so there’s something to look forward to next week. An early lead for the Broncos will force the Chargers to pass and LaDainian all nice and agitated on the sidelines.
Who else should you not touch in any way considered fantasy football-like this week? Well, I’ll tell you…
Dwayne Bowe, WR, Chiefs vs. Redskins: The Redskins, while miserable as ever on offense, have been rather stout on defense. They’re in the top 10 among points allowed to a receiver. The only way he earns his paycheck in this one is if he scores a touchdown, which I wouldn’t rule out.
Julius Jones, RB, Seahawks vs. Cardinals: Believe it or not, the Cardinals have been great against the run this year. This game will largely be fought through the air like the best episodes of SWAT Cats. Whatever happened to that show? And more importantly, how and why did cats ever want to fly? They don’t like it. I’ve seen it on the YouTubes.
Eli Manning, QB, Giants vs. Saints: There’s just too much pointing to the Giants wanting to keep this one conservative, which means they’ll limit Manning early. Eli’s a little banged up. The Saints are coming off a bye with two weeks to prepare. The game is in New Orleans. Drew Brees, Drew Brees and, oh, Drew Brees. While I think it could soon get out of hand for the Giants, forcing the lesser Manning into throwing situations, that’s when the Saints defense has been the most deadly. New Orleans is third best in fantasy points allowed to opposing quarterbacks. I assume you have a better matchup.
Chris Johnson, RB, Titans vs. Patriots: It’s a bold move. I know. But unless things break just right for Johnson—wait, Sunday isn’t opposite day, is it?—the Titans will be playing from behind against the Patriots. They haven’t involved Johnson in the passing game when trailing enough for me to sign off on him this week. You’ll probably still have to start him because the opportunity is there, and he is one of the most explosive backs in the league. But doesn’t it make you feel better to know that I’m hating myself for having to start him as well? Let’s hope for a touchdown. It worked with Braylon Edwards.
Chris Cooley, TE, Redskins vs. Chiefs: No one likes a tight end that has to spend all his time blocking.
Sleeper of the Week
Cadillac Williams, RB, Bucs vs. Panthers
Caddy should do some dirty things to the Panthers defense this week if Tampa Bay can keep pace long enough to utilize the running game. Josh Johnson’s keeping this offense effective through a terrible run of losses. Derrick Ward’s injury gave Caddy just enough room to take a lead in the RBBC, and Cadillac should prove his worthy of the starting job by getting a touchdown against the poor Panthers rushing defense.
Heaven forbid that the Bucs actually keep the lead in this one and allow Caddy to run all over the Panthers defense all day.
Song to Ease Your Pain While Setting Your Lineups
You’ll Get Bit… Ya BIT! – DJ Steve Porter Community Remix
I hear Community is a very funny show, but I’ve only gotten a chance to watch it a handful of times. Watching this remix video makes me want to set aside some more time for it…and surprisingly, learn more Spanish words. My high school education is limiting my budding rap potential. Ya BIT!
As always, comments are yours. I make no promises about answering comments before Sunday this week because on Saturday, Oklahoma comes to town to take on my Longhorns. Lives could be ruined this weekend. Lives.
I watched the UFL game last night, and it wasn’t even like the accidentally-left-it-on-that-channel kind of watch. I actually watched it. It was far more interesting than watching Missouri spank Nebraska in the rain.
J.P. Losman led the Las Vegas Locomotives, an engine of destruction, I’m told, to a come-from-behind victory against the California Redwoods, who really should consider either 1) changing their name or 2) getting Big Ben to be their quarterback if they want to be taken seriously.
Losman looked pretty rough to start the game, but he pulled it together and finished the game 21 of 31 with 226 passing yards and two touchdowns. Imagine what that would look like if his receivers were T.O. and Lee Evans? Sorry, Buffalo fans, let’s get away from that kind of talk…
Hot Hands Start of the Week
Marshawn Lynch, RB, Buffalo Bills vs. Cleveland Browns
Did I mention that he’s back and that he got more receptions than Fred Jackson last week? That’s supposed to be Jackson’s expertise. If Lynch is encroaching on him there, I have to wonder how long Jackson can hold off Lynch from the majority of the touches.
Lynch has been successful against the Browns in the past, and the Browns are terrible this season against the run. The Bills would be smart to go easy on Trent Edwards in this one and lean on the running game since Edwards has done nothing but disappoint in his last two starts. While both are safer flex plays than starters, I like both Jackson and Lynch in this one.
Also receiving votes:
Donovan McNabb, QB, Philadelphia Eagles vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The Bucs are terrible at defending the pass this week, and McNabb returns to a team that Kevin Kolb turned into one of the hottest passing offenses in the league in the two games before the bye week. I know, no brainer, but sometimes people are slow to move on these things when players return from injury. I don’t care if McNabb is wearing a flak jacket and full SWAT gear out there, he’s starting.
Kevin Walter, WR, Houston Texans vs. Arizona Cardinals: In what could be a nice little shootout, Kevin Walter should have a nice enough day. He finished last season as one of the most targeted players in the red zone, and he could make strides this week against a weak Arizona pass defense.
Pierre Garcon, WR, Indianapolis Colts vs. Tennessee Titans: Oui, oui. He’s good to go for another week and Peyton Manning, destroyer of all that is playing the Colts, should tear the Titans and new one even if their starting cornerbacks return. Sucks to be a Titan fan right now. It really does.
Mike Sims-Walker, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Seattle Seahawks: Don’t you dare sit anyone on the Jaguars with two last names. Homey don’t play that!
Jerome Harrison, RB, Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills: Start all your backs in this one. Two of the leagues worst run defenses meet, and even if Mo Massaquoi has a less-than-impressive debut as the No. 1 for the Browns, Harrison should get plenty of catches and runs against the Bills. He’s got RB2 upside, but I’d like him better as a flex play. (Wouldn’t we all?)
Cold Shoulders Sit of the Week
Steve Slaton, RB, Houston Texans vs. Arizona Cardinals
Arizona’s actually been pretty good against the run this season, and Slaton hasn’t been involved enough in the passing game thus far for me to endorse him in this matchup. That’s why I’d avoid putting him in your lineup this week.
You may have to play him because of byes or because you drafted him so highly. That’s okay. Just don’t look for him to blow this one out of the park, especially if Chris Brown is healthy enough to play and steal just enough to carries to reduce Slaton’s chances for a touchdown.
Also receiving votes:
Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots vs. Denver Broncos: I have to admit, Brady is a scary start this week against the Broncos, who haven’t allowed a passing touchdown yet this year, but I give Randy Moss and Tom Brady the best shot of breaking that streak. If you don’t have an amazing QB2 matchup, I’d still start Brady, which I am in at least one league this week.
Cadillac Williams, RB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Philadelphia Eagles: Philly had a whole bye week to rest up and prepare for Caddy and the Bucs. I’m actually concerned he might get his knee banged up in this one, especially with Derrick Ward already hurting. My guess is that this game gets out-of-hand early, and the Bucs are forced to go to the air to make something happen. Josh Johnson could have more rushing yards than Caddy. For that reason, I’m staying away if I have better options.
Kyle Orton, QB, Denver Broncos vs. New England Patriots: Those passes last week were ugly. Take away the pass that should have been intercepted by Anthony Spencer and Brandon Marshall’s hard work to get to the end zone with that last one, and Orton has no touchdowns last week. I know the same could be said for any quarterback when you take away both their touchdown passes, but that’s not the point. I’m making a point! Orton got very lucky. Bill Belichick does not allow lucky. In fact, he kills leprechauns. I heard Belichick wakes up every morning and stomps out a box of Lucky Charms like it killed his mother. That’s before he cuts off his sweatshirt sleeves and slaps himself in the face for 15 minutes to get a nice brood going before he starts the day.
Terrell Owens, WR, Buffalo Bills vs. Cleveland Browns: He’s going to go off now that I’ve listed him here, but Owens terrible start to the season isn’t giving me any confidence in him this week, even against the Browns. As I’ve said before, keep him on your bench until he does something, or expect only WR3 numbers from him in this one. If you’re forced to start him this week due to byes, good luck.
Justin Gage, WR, Tennessee Titans vs. Indianapolis Colts: He’s getting passed up by fellow receivers Nate Washington and Kenny Britt. Also, Kerry Collins has never thrown a touchdown against the Colts. Bad sign, if you asked me.
Sleeper of the Week
Braylon Edwards, WR, New York Jets vs. Miami Dolphins This is just selfish, completely and totally selfish. In one of my leagues, a nice trade opportunity forced me to acquire Braylon Edwards, and bye weeks will force me to start him this week against the Dolphins. I don’t know how long it will take Edwards to pick up the offense. Word is that he’s taking to it quickly, but that doesn’t mean the Jets will look to him early and often on Monday night.
Edwards has stepped his game up on Monday night in the past, so maybe, just maybe this sleeper pick will work out for me? All I need is WR3-level production out of the guy. Pretty please, Braylon?
Let’s hope it works out for me.
As always, the comments are yours. Who are you struggling with sitting or starting this week? Post it up, and let the foolish community give you some fantasy assistance.
These Patriots are clearly not the same team that we expected to see back on the field with Brady’s return.
When New England traded Richard Seymour to the Oakland Raiders, it proved one thing: Bill Belichick will do anything for a first round draft pick. Draft picks are like crack to him. Belichick cannot refuse. If you gave him enough first round picks, he’d probably give away Tom Brady and his own kidney. Maybe two kidneys.
While that 2011 pick looks delicious right now, the Patriots defense does not. Belichick couldn’t have planned on losing Jerod Mayo in the first game of the season, but he certainly knew that the defense would suffer without Mike Vrabel, traded to Kansas City, and Richard Seymour. The new blood on defense hasn’t found their rhythm yet this season, and rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez capitalized on their failings in Week 2.
Belichick seems to have an uncanny ability to find spare parts and plug them in as exact clones of the starters he has in place — *cough* Julian Edelman *cough* — but the team as a whole can’t get back to 2007 form.
Tom Brady hasn’t been getting the same zip on his passes, and the Jets’ Darrelle Revis was an absolute stud against Randy Moss, much like he was against Andre Johnson in Week 1. It might be time to sit your stud wide receiver when he faces the Jets.
Should you abandon your Patriots? No, of course not. As long as they aren’t playing the Jets defense, the Patriots offense should still create fantasy stars.
But if you drafted the New England defense with the expectation that they would enjoy a healthy dose of turnovers once Brady forced opponents into a throwing match, you might need to look for a second option.
Speaking of teams playing out of character
In the midst of the Titans-Texans score-a-thon, it was obvious to everyone watching that Chris Johnson is the Titan’s offense. The Titans rode the wave of that undefeated streak last year off the play of their excellent defense, which has lost the ability to generate a pass rush without Albert Haynesworth and exposed some holes in the secondary.
Maybe Kerry Collins is the problem. Maybe his time has come, or maybe I just give Vince Young too much credit. Without a doubt, the Titans are going to need some creativity on offense.
Maybe they can just direct snap to Chris Johnson and call it a day. My fantasy team would be completely cool with that. Completely.
One rib shy of the rack
Matt Hasselbeck took a big hit that knocked him out of his game this week, but it looks like he’ll be okay. It was just a broken rib, and it’s not like he has a history of injury or anything… Oh, wait, this could be a problem.
Discharged
The Chargers defense lost Shawne Merriman again at the end of yesterday’s game against the Ravens to a groin strain, but the bigger blow was the loss of Jamal Williams this week. Without him in the middle of the defense, the Chargers might run into some trouble.
Are things coming together in a perfect storm for Philip Rivers owners? He just might have to carry the Chargers for a few weeks.
The Wildcat comes to special teams Maybe that’s why they list Sage Rosenfels as the third quarterback, eh? Sneaky Brad Childress…
Have you seen the Green Bay bomber?
Greg Jennings, where did you go? He checked out of the Bengals game Casper-style, but I don’t think Aaron Rodgers will let that happen again if the Packers want to keep that offense on the right track.
Breaking ankles With this week’s sprained ankle for Brian Westbrook and last week’s sprained ankle for L.T., we could be looking at a season of Darren Sproles and LeSean McCoy pretty soon. Waiver wire accordingly.
At the closing Bell
Mike Bell may have lost his hold on the running back job in New Orleans by spraining his own MCL Sunday. It was too good to be true, but we’ll have to wait until the final diagnosis to see if Bell was just a two-week waiver wire savior.
Pierre Thomas owners certainly wouldn’t mind Bell being removed from the competition.
Even after two weeks of play, we’re still not quite sure who some of these teams are. Are the Jags the worst team in football? Are the 49ers really going to smashmouth their way to an NFC West title? Is Cadillac Williams a member of the undead, come back to own the running game in Tampa Bay? I guess we’ll see.
Welcome to the first edition of our in-season “On the Wire” spectacular, coming to you every week from the sadness of your own heart. If you’re players are underperforming or injured, we’re here to pick you up for the low, low price of four installments of free.
We’ll keep it short and simple — listing a few players each week who could upgrade your team and a few sleepers who might perform well in the next week. If you like what you see, go get them on your waiver wire, and if there’s anyone else you are considering picking up for your fantasy squad, bring him up in the discussion in the comments below.
Here are a few potential fantasy free agents who could help your team this week:
Mike Bell, RB, New Orleans Saints: He’ll have a rough time this week against the Eagles, but as long as Pierre Thomas is out, he’ll get the bulk of the Saints workload.
Cadillac Williams, RB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: His knees seem better now, but what the hell did they put in there? He looked stronger than ever and bionic on Sunday. He’ll share time with Derrick Ward, but he’s a decent RB3 to consider at this point.
Michael Bush, RB, Oakland Raiders: Bush will be a short-yardage, goal line back for the Raiders, a team who will run the ball plenty this year. When he spells Darren McFadden, he could also be spelling your fantasy team.
Earl Bennett, WR, Chicago Bears: In his second season with the Bears, he’s finally emerging as a possession receiver for Jay Cutler.
Davone Bess, WR, Miami Dolphins: The receiver-by-rotation model the Dolphins are using makes him a risky pickup, but Bess was the Dolphins’ leading receiver this weekend. If that moves him up the Dolphins’ depth chart, he’ll continue to have value in PPR leagues, but he’s unlikely to score a lot of touchdowns.
Pierre Garcon, WR, Indianapolis Colts: If not Garcon, it’s Austin Collie, but whoever fills in for Anthony Gonzalez will have value and will face Miami this weekend.
Laurent Robinson, WR, St. Louis Rams: So they do have someone besides Donnie Avery? Robinson was a sleeper back when he was with the Falcons, but he has finally caught on in St. Louis. They could use the help.
Steve Smith, WR, New York Giants: If undrafted, the other Steve Smith could be a stud in PPR leagues this season as Eli Manning’s No. 1 guy.
Percy Harvin, WR, Minnesota Vikings: Looks like they’ll use him in this offense. You could, too. Harvin’s explosive and could be Brett Favre’s new Chansi Stuckey.
John Carlson, TE, Seattle Seahawks: If no one in your league drafted him this year — probably unlikely — you should correct that. He’s a young tight end who should be one of the top two targets in the Seattle offense, and he’s a great red zone option for Matt Hasselbeck. His two-touchdown performance on Sunday could be repeated against other NFC West opponents throughout the season.
Jeremy Shockey, TE, New Orleans Saints: Don’t expect him to do that every week, but Shockey could be a solid tight end for you this season if your current guy was disappointing in the first week.
Mark Sanchez, QB, New York Jets: He won’t win you any games, but Sanchez could be a Joe Flacco-like rookie quarterback this season if the Jets continue to dominate Baltimore-style. He has potential as a backup.
Chaz Schilens, WR, Oakland Raiders: Write this one down. Schilens is out right now with a broken foot, but upon his return, he should be the No. 1 in Oakland, where JaMarcus Russell seems able and willing to make big plays. Louis Murphy stood out last night, but Schilens could easily take over that role very soon. Consider this one a longer-term investment.
Washington Redskins, D/ST: St. Louis meets Albert Haynesworth this week. Who wants a Bulger sandwich? How about a pancake?
Fantasy Football Fools is a fantasy football blog that doesn't take itself too seriously. Sure, we give you fantasy football strategy tips and advice, but we also make sure to include the jokes and fantasy football culture that makes it all worth playing.
