This goes out to you, DeAngelo Hall

In honor of the Cowboys at Redskins face-off tonight, I give you this lovely, artistic interpretation of what it’s like to be the NFL’s most self-conscious cornerback, DeAngelo “Get Shorty” Hall.

[Since the original featured video “Body Image is Not Just Dress Size,” a spoken word performance, has been removed from YouTube, this will have to do in its place.]

In case you missed it, the Washington Redskins’ tiny little cornerback that could has height issues. Is that why his mouth outperforms his play on the field? Or is it the hot dogs?

You know what’s in those things, right? The hot dogs? That’s greatness. Hot dogs gave Mark Sanchez his swagger, not Old Spice.

H/T The Daily Wh.at

A Fool and His Money in Week 10

No intro. No nonsense. This week, we’re all about the picks, now featuring “locks” of the week.

Note: The ‘$‘ will signify Nick’s “locks” of the week from this point forward while a ‘#‘ will mark Chadam’s favorite bets.

New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons

Fools Take: FALCONS (+0) over Saints

Nick says: I think this will be a high scoring affair. The home team has won every NFC South matchup so far this year, and the Falcons are undefeated at home.

Tennessee Titans at Chicago Bears

Fools Take: Titans (-3) over BEARS $ #

Nick says: The Titans’ defense versus Sexy Rexy. This is a no brainer and one of my locks of the week. We decided to add three locks each week and keep our records on those locks since its true that we don’t gamble on every game every week. We pick out a few we like and those are the ones that really matter.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Detroit Lions

Fools Take: Jaguars (-7) over LIONS

Nick says: What happened to the Jags? They used to have a solid running game, but only managed 69 yards rushing against the Bengals. I was actually going to pick the Lions in this game, but I heard that Culpepper is starting after only a week with the team. That can’t be a good sign for your offense.

Seattle Seahawks at Miami Dolphins

Fools Take: DOLPHINS (-9) over Seahawks $

Nick says: Guess how many yards the leading receiver on the Seahawks has: Koren Robinson leads the WRs with 12 catches for 182 yards, but rookie TE John Carlson actually leads the team with 244 yards. Wow. I just can’t give any vote of confidence to a team like that.

Green Pay Backers at Minnesota Vikings

SPLIT DECISION!
Chadam Takes: Packers (+3) over VIKINGS
Nick Takes: VIKINGS (-3) over Packers

In taking the Vikings, Nick says: I went back and forth on this game. Normally, I would take the points in any similar situation, but I just don’t see the Packers having an answer for Purple Jesus.

Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots

Fools Take: PATRIOTS (-4.5) over Bills

Nick says: I said last week that it was time for the Bills to panic. They have now lost three of their last four. If they don’t win this one, I’m willing to bet they fold for the rest of the season. I don’t think the Patriots will lose back to back games.

St. Louis Rams at New York Jets

Fools Take: JETS (-7) over Rams

Nick says: Thomas Jones is very quietly having a nice season. He has been the steady hand next to Favre’s typical erratic play. The Jets have struggled with the easy teams this season, but I like them at home against a very bad Rams team.

Baltimore Ravens at Houston Texans

SPLIT DECISION!
Chadam Takes: TEXANS (+0) over Ravens
Nick Takes: Ravens (+0) over TEXANS

In taking the Ravens, Nick says: The Ravens come in with a three-game winning streak and winning each game by double digits. I like that momentum, and I’m not sure Sage Rosenfels will be able to overcome that choke job against the Colts earlier in the season.

Carolina Panthers at Oakland Raiders

Fools Take: Panthers (-7.5) over RAIDERS $ #

Nick says: Has anything changed recently? No, the Raiders still suck. They are so bad that they cut DeAngelo Hall less than eight months after trading for him and signing him to a $70 million contract. Seriously, everyone on that team knows the season is over. Lock it up.

Indianapolis Colts at Pittsburgh Steelers

Fools Take: STEELERS (-3) over Colts

Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers

Fools Take: Chiefs (+14) over CHARGERS

Nick says: That is just too many points for my liking. The Chiefs have hung in there the last two games, and San Diego hasn’t exactly impressed anyone this year. Plus, my man Jamaal Charles is getting the first start of his career.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles

Fools Take: Giants (-3) over EAGLES #

Nick says: I like the Eagles, but I’m going to take what a lot of people consider the best team in the NFL and the points. Thank you very much.

San Francisco 49ers and Arizona Cardinals

SPLIT DECISION!
Chadam Takes: CARDINALS (-11) over 49ers
Nick Takes: 49ers (+11) over CARDINALS

In taking the 49ers, Nick says: Everybody has now had some time to get on board with Mike Singletary. I like him and Shaun Hill to jumpstart this team. Of course, I don’t expect them to win. All I ask is that they cover the spread.

To summarize…

Chadam’s Locks (#): Titans (-3) over BEARS, Panthers (-7.5) over RAIDERS, Giants (-3) over EAGLES

Nick’s Locks ($): Titans (-3) over BEARS, DOLPHINS (-9) over Seahawks, Panthers (-7.5) over RAIDERS

Last Week:

Chadam: 7-7
Nick: 7-7

Current Standings after Week 9:

Chadam: 64-61-2
Nick: 66-59-2
Simmons: 66-59-3

Off-season Update: Quick hits at wide receiver, tight end and cornerback [NFL News]

Most of the moves made in the last several weeks have no immediate fantasy impact. Backups are still moving from team to team, but a few starters finally landed at wide receiver in the last couple of weeks.

FANTASY WATCH-WORTHY MOVES

The 49ers dropped Darrell Jackson after his disappointing 2007 and added Bryant Johnson. I would have liked to see Johnson end up in Buffalo where he might have been a compliment to Lee Evans, but he is daring and will take his chances in the new Mike Martz system.

He will get his chance to be a number 1 wide receiver. I don’t expect Isaac Bruce to make a Randy Moss-like revival out there, and Arnaz Battle can’t put up much of a fight.

Ben Utecht escaped the shadow of Dallas Clark to Cincinnati this week when the Colts decided not to match the Bengals offer. Utecht showed some ability with the Colts, and he will become a key target for Carson Palmer in 2008 especially if Ocho Cinco (Chad Johnson) keeps his act up and leaves.

D.J. Hackett finally found someone to answer his agent’s phone calls this offseason and signed with the Carolina Panthers. All the dynasty owners of Dwayne Jarrett just died inside.

Jarrett probably won’t hit the field for awhile now that Carolina has signed Muhsin Muhammad and Hackett unless this move scares him straight. Hackett and Muhammad should be able to open up the field for Steve Smith to make a comeback in production for 2008.

Kickers become fantasy-relevant for once outside of a close fantasy showdown now that Jason Elam has left the high altitude of Colorado to boot for the Falcons in 2008. It’s a tought loss for Denver since Elam won more games than any other single Bronco in 2007. While they search for a replacement, Elam will have to adjust to kicking in Southern humidity. I think he’ll be okay.

The DeAngelo Hall deal finally got done, so now he’s an overpaid Raider, too. The Raiders now have an even better secondary with Nnamdi Asomugha and Hall. Rumor was that they want to nickname the cornerback pair “Haul Ass-o” but Nnamdi won’t go for it.

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH BACKUPS

Quinn Gray signed on to be the second/third quarterback for the Houston Texans. This signing puts the wise Sage Rosenfels in danger of being traded if an offer comes the Texans’ way, or they just want to be VERY secure at the QB position if Matt Schaub goes down again in 2008.

Bubba Franks signed on to the Jets but will likely just provide veteran leadership behind Chris Baker and endless Bubba jokes for the locker room.

NEWS THAT MIGHT INTRIGUE YOU

Brandon Marshall got so upset after last week’s episode of Lost that he put his fist through a TV. He might be out for up to four months.

Just let that be a lesson to you to always pick up your McDonald’s slop after a late night Big Mac binge. I’m not too concerned. He’ll probably be back in shape for training camp and be in line for a breakout season as long as there is no lasting nerve damage.

The Patriots have been taking a look at Josh Johnson, the little known quarterback loved by many scouts and experts as a potential sleeper quarterback of the future. The theory is that the Patriots might try to convert him to a wide receiver if they draft him in a later.

What? They aren’t going to get rid of that Tom Brady guy? Maybe Josh can work the camera until he becomes Brady’s favorite target. He has the potential to be a QB in the NFL if someone puts the time into working him into it.

Free agents, controversial players on the move pre-Combine [NFL Rumors]

What better way to start day 1 of the NFL Combine coverage than with a collection of trade and free agency rumors from around the NFL. There are several key free agents making moves out there that you should keep your eye on for fantasy football in 2008.

After making his rounds around the Patriots and Saints, Zach Thomas signed with the Cowboys. His $3 million salary isn’t as much as his stats, but it’s not about the money. Thomas wanted to return to his hometown team and hopes to be able to be tackling for the Cowboys rather than hitting linemen. Thomas could be a high impact player for the Cowboys defense, a unit that did well for fantasy owners in 2007 already.

Rex Grossman signed for another year with Chicago as “the starter.” He got replaced last year after a poor start, so there’s nothing stopping Lovie Smith from replacing mid-season in 2008. The quarterback situation for the Bears probably won’t be worked out until after the draft and training camp, but there are rumors that Brian Griese may have played his last ball in Chicago.

While the talk has been that Alge Crumpler would be happy in Carolina next season after Atlanta released him, the Tennessee Titans have an interest in him for 2008. With Bo Scaife hurt and possibly not starting immediately in 2007, and Ben Troupe probably on his way out, Vince Young could use another tight end target. The Titans utilized the tight end effectively in 2007 with Scaife being third on the team in receptions and receiving yards, so Crumpler might find a productive situation there like he had with Michael Vick in Atlanta.

Tampa Bay is considering a trade with the Denver Broncos for the unhappy Javon Walker. Although he had a bum knee this season, Walker still have a playmaker ability within him that the Bucs could use. It wouldn’t be a very long-term solution for Tampa Bay though since their receivers are all getting up there in age. They might not be willing to make a good enough deal for Walker and could take a young rookie in the draft instead.

After saying he wanted to stay in Atlanta, DeAngelo Hall didn’t receive the warm welcome he wanted from the new coaching staff, and he went off to reporters that he wants out. According to the latest rumors, both the New York Giants and the Miami Dolphins are interested. The Giants are probably more likely to deal for him and could seriously use him with all the poor secondary play they had early in 2007. The Dolphins have expressed interest in Hall and Troy Williamson of the Minnesota Vikings. They likely would only take Hall if they had a good deal for him considering Parcells probably doesn’t want Hall’s off the field drama.

Fullback Lorenzo Neal is on the block with the Chargers. He is 37, but he might still have a good year or two left in him. He spent the last several years blocking for LaDainian Tomlinson in San Diego, so it will be interesting to see whether L.T.’s running game is affected if Neal goes.

Now for players who are staying put…

If you think Rudi Johnson‘s 2007 running game for the Cincinnati Bengals had declined, you might find him a changed man in 2008. Rudi plans to put on weight this offseason and return to his power running game. If he achieves his goal, he could surprise in 2008 and might be a steal come fantasy draft day.

Speaking of player with a lull in 2007, Lee Evans may get some help with the Buffalo Bill. Evans, as the only passing threat of the Bills, was horribly double-teamed and shut down this season. To help him out, the Bills are rumored to be taking a big wide receiver like Malcolm Kelly from Oklahoma or possibly DeSean Jackson from Cal. Depending on Trent Edwards’ development, the Buffalo Bills could have a very improved passing game in 2008.

The Arizona Cardinals, on the other hand, are looking for some speed in the running back department. While they love Edgerrin James for his production in 2007, they want a change up back that can hit those homerun drives–like a Ahmad Bradshaw or Adrian Peterson–and they will seek one in the draft ths year.