Foolish Thoughts on Week 15: I’m all out of love, so lost without you

It was hard to bring my thoughts together between fits of extreme sobbing after watching all the football games in a very serious, totally masculine way this weekend.

Yes, I lost at Nick’s hands this week, one game away from the championship … in a game where I was “projected” to win by 50 points.

Thank you, Larry Fitzgerald, Brandon Marshall, Lee Evans and Brian Westbrook for dropping the ball when I needed you most.

I could blame Peyton Manning for managing only one touchdown against the Lions or Matt Forte for being just gimpy enough after a slight injury to barely crack double digits, but I’m still too happy with both of them this season. Forte was the best pick I made in the draft this year, and Manning reclaimed the title of “The Better Manning” … and, therefore, shoved the lesser Elisha Manning back down a notch, where he belongs.

Going into Monday night’s Eagles-Browns showdown, I needed 35+ points from Brian Westbrook and no-name tight end Steve Heiden, backing up the injured Kellen Winslow for the Browns (and my fantasy team). If Westbrook could get another 30 points against the Browns, maybe Heiden could get me those last critical points by catching a garbage-time touchdown or catching a few escape passes from the not-so-Brady-Quinn-esque Ken Dorsey as he ran for his life. I mean, the Eagles do have a little problem covering tight ends. It’s possible.

Sadly, not only did Westbrook do a whole lot of nothing in this one because Andy Reid obviously reads things I say about him, but Heiden was carted off the field with an injury after catching zero passes for zero yards. As the cart went off the field, so did my season in my primary fantasy league (the one with the biggest trophy).

Losing when you are so close to the prize just leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. As a guy, it’s sort of like hearing that some famous female celebrity is becoming one of those every-man’s-fantasy lesbians and then discovering that her hot hookup partner is this thing.

Now, that’s just disappointing.

But alas, it’s no shocker that the prohibitive favorite loses out in the playoffs. There’s always an Antonio Bryant, a Tarvaris Jackson or a Dominic Rhodes waiting in the wings to blow up the top seeds in the playoffs.

Just look at what the Giants did in the playoffs last season. If you knew who was going to win, we wouldn’t play them.

That’s actually why the NFL is considering canceling the rest of the Detroit Lions’ games. We all know how they are going to go.

Even though Peyton Manning was less than explosive against the Lions on Sunday, Dallas Clark had a huge game for his fantasy owners with 142 yards and a score. It looks like he’s ramping up for fantasy owners in the playoffs.

I guess he really is that awesome…

The one bright spot of this weekend was the Cowboys-Giants game, the drama unfolding on the big Sunday Night Football stage. Just like Plaxico Burress, it seems the Giants are shooting themselves in the leg this season when it matters most, and, as a true Cowboys fan, I was happy to see that the Cowboys showed up to play.

After a week of intense “what did Terrell Owens say now” stories plastered all over ESPN, the Dallas Cowboys were supposed to flop. That didn’t happen and now their hot story of the week seems to have blown up in their hands.

I’m really no T.O. lover. I’m sort of indifferent to him until the press about a guy gets to a roaring buzz — so basically, the same way I feel about Brett Favre.

I think blaming him for any Cowboys loss, regardless of how politically correct his postgame interviews are, is getting old. Especially after the press tour he seems to have gone on to clear his name, it’s hard not to take his side.

Ed Werder doesn’t seem like the kind of journalist who would fabricate a story, but I wonder why he didn’t try to get a quote from T.O. about the words that were being put into the wide receiver’s mouth by an anonymous source before going public with the story.

When he does say something about his teammates or quarterback, T.O.’s never been one to cover it up.

At least the drama is coming to a close for now, and I think that T.O. and Ed Werder will make up.

T.O. reportedly sent Werder a famous Japanese foot massager as a peace offering.

On quarterbacks
Who would have thought that the leading scorers at quarterback in Week 15 would be Matt Cassel, Tarvaris Jackson, David Garrard and Ryan Fitzpatrick.

That, my friends, is magical.

On “Freedom” running backs
Pierre Thomas is legit. Looks like the Saints will be chunking the Deuce this offseason for their hot, new French toy.

Thomas had his way with the Bears defense on Thursday night while the Bears’ running backs struggled to do anything against the Saints. I fear what he can do this week against the Lions.

His only competition is Reggie Bush, who can’t stay on the field for an entire NFL season due to badunkadunk. Besides, Bush’s only a pretend running back anyway.

Since that’s about all I have to say about the French, here’s a message from the “That’s a country?” video collection.

And yes, France is a country.

If you currently own Pierre Thomas, you might be smarter than a fifth grader.

On finding meaning this holiday season
James Jones going off against the Jaguars might be a sign — not for this week or next week but for next season as Donald Driver heads closer and closer to Marvin Harrison-ism.

On the other hand, Dennis Northcutt’s big game means nothing. It’s one of those warmest-body-on-the-field games.

Do you know who Johnnie Lee Higgins is? Big arm + playmaking wide receiver = potential. Keep an eye on a kid like this one in Oakland this offseason. Two big games this year leave the door open for a brighter tomorrow.

Maybe Al Davis will sell the team or give up overhead projector firings. You never know.

On Pro Bowl “picks”
First of all, the Pro Bowl rosters would make for one hell of a fantasy team. I salivated just reading the names of the backups, but Brett Favre? The pick master is one of the league’s best?

As much as I dislike him, where’s the Philip Rivers love? Even the Pro Bowl needs a crier.

On the Wire: Week 15 Pickups and Waiver Wire Grabs for Playoffs

Congrats, fools. If you’re still following pickups at this point in the season, you made the playoffs. I guess there are some of you out there who may be seeking out ways to beef up your keeper or dynasty team for next year but for the large majority of you, playoffs. Good work. I hope our posts helped you make a call at least once, maybe even twice, during your season.

Now that you’re here in the playoff circle and gloating profusely in front of all the less fortunate owners in your league, you probably don’t want to change much. I’ve been shifting the pickups posts to later in the week in large part because I don’t want people to immediately rush out and grab the “so hot right now” player. More than ever, it’s important that you make really informed choices about who you put on your roster and kick to the free agent pool.

The recs I have for this week are slim because you obviously have a good enough team to weather the playoff storm if you made it here. You don’t want to drop your studs for a fluke of a wide receiver. These guys are options if one of your backups is worthless or injured — or maybe if you lost Peyton Hillis, Joseph Addai or Frank Gore this week. If they’re still available on the waiver wire, they’re some of the only players I could see being able to provide good numbers for you in the playoffs.

Antonio Bryant, WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers — I still haven’t quite decided whether he is the Britney Spears to Jeff Garcia’s Kevin Federline, but Bryant had a huge, two-touchdown performance last Monday night. I’m not pegging him as a superstar because the Bucs like to run the ball all day, but Bryant has as good of matchups as anyone in the next two weeks — Atlanta and San Diego. Unfortunately, you might have to back off of him in Week 17 as he plays the Raiders and is likely to be covered by Nnamdi “Not Going to Catch Anything” Asomugha. Don’t trust him as more than a low-end WR2 or WR3, but Bryant could be worth a plug in the playoffs.

Davone Bess, WR Miami Dolphins — Yes, Bess makes for a strong WR3 start these next few weeks as the Dolphins face the 49ers, Chiefs and Jets. He’s been the top receiver on offense since the departure of Greg Camarillo, and he’s more reliable than Ted Ginn Jr. One can only hope that that reliability translates into his use in the red zone. I’d only trust him as a WR3, but with the juicy matchups, he could surprise up to the level of a quality WR2.

Pierre Thomas, RB New Orleans Saints — The little Frenchmen looks to be blowing up much like his predecessor, Aaron Stecker, did on the Saints last season during the fantasy football playoffs. The Saints end the season with the Bears, Lions and Panthers, so there’s plenty of opportunity there for Thomas to succeed. Unfortunately, a sort of returning Reggie Bush and sort of suspended Deuce McAllister make it hard to know what the Saints will do in the running game. If there was one to start and hope for the best though, it’d be Pierre. Oui, oui. Thomas is a low-end RB2 this week against the Bears but should be one hell of a RB2 during Week 16 against the Lions.

DeShaun Foster, RB San Francisco 49ers — You thought Foster was a name you could forget? Well, for the most part, it is, but he’s also the backup to Frank Gore. If Gore sits out after being carted off with that ankle injury in Week 14, Foster would get the most carries at Miami. Now, a slower, veteran running back is not who you want to be starting against a strong run defense like Miami during your playoffs, but you might consider picking up Foster just in case he also gets the call in Week 16, against a St. Louis team is just thankful not to be the Lions. No recommendation for foster this week, but consider stashing him to keep him from the competition and for his potential in Week 16 if you don’t have a solid RB option that week.

Tashard Choice, RB Dallas Cowboys — There’s not an easy day in sight with the Giants and the Ravens coming into Big D these next two weeks. Choice would also suffer a drop in value if Marion Barber returned this week or next week, which is very likely. But, regardless of the matchups, if Choice can run that well against the Steelers, he shouldn’t be shut down by the Giants, Ravens or Eagles these next three weeks. Watch the news about Marion Barber before you burn a decent roster spot for him. Of course, if you own Marion Barber, you should already have choice on your roster. If you don’t, slap yourself and pick him up. For everyone else, take a long, hard look at your roster, and if someone on there won’t be starting for you in the playoffs, swap them out for choice. I’d recommend him as a low-end RB2 or flex with a great deal of upside.

Tatum Bell and Selvin Young, RB Denver Broncos — Now that Peyton Hillis is done for the season, Shanahan is down to Tatum Bell and Selvin Young. Young’s never fully returned from the hamstring injury he suffered earlier in the season, and I’d have my doubts about him moving forward. Tatum Bell is still the same ol’ Bell. Neither player jumps off the page, but their playoff schedule does — Carolina, Buffalo and San Diego. Even though the Broncos will continue to pass first, all these upcoming defenses are around the middle of the league and, besides San Diego, show more weakness against the run than the pass. While Young is obviously more talented, it’s hard to recommend him when he can’t seem to stay on the field long enough to score. I’d conservatively recommend picking up Tatum Bell first and plugging him in as a weak RB2 or flex play. Very weak.

Cadillac Williams (a.k.a. Carnell Williams), RB Tampa Bay Buccaneers — A touchdown vulture who could see more carries as the season goes on or if Warrick Dunn suffers another injury? That’s potential. Make sure you own Caddy if you have Dunn right now. He may even be worth a start over a full-time stud with games against Atlanta, San Diego and Oakland. A Raiders team with nothing to play for in Week 17 could make for a very lucrative Week 17, but unless his situation changes, Caddy will remain a low RB2 or RB3/flex start. I’d rather have a guy that starts.

Shaun Hill, QB San Francisco 49ers — He’s been a solid start since he replaced JTO, and as much as I liked JTO before he became “Mr. Turnover,” I like Shaun Hill more. Hill has one of the best schedules for any quarterback as he faces the Miami, St. Louis and Washington to end the season. Unlike many playoff-bound starters, he probably won’t see a single sit during these last few weeks either. Expect a hard-fought and less-than-explosive game this week against the sack-happy Dolphins to be followed by a huge day at St. Louis in Week 16. If you need him in Week 17, he’s likely to be facing a Washington squad that’s out of the playoffs and done caring about it.

Seneca Wallace, QB Seattle Seahawks — Wallace has the potential to put up some numbers against the Rams, Jets and Cardinals these next three weeks. My gut is telling me that Matt Hasselbeck doesn’t get rushed back into the lineup with the season over and his back pain. As long as Deion Branch, who should also be owned in most leagues by now, is on the field, Wallace has potential as a sneaky play for a couple of touchdowns and 200+ yards. Wallace is a low, low, low-end start simply because he’s as likely to bust as bang, but if you need a quarterback during the playoffs, like slapping yourself to feel alive or have faith that a desperation play will save you, go for it. (As always, if you can’t decide whether to start Wallace over your stud/starter, you can always comment or contact us. There are certain starters that I would rank Wallace above these next three weeks.)

Steve Heiden, TE Cleveland Browns — While he won’t be spectacular, Ken Dorsey is definitely going to need his help if Dorsey survives the next three weeks. As long as he doesn’t spend all his time blocking, I like Heiden’s chances for a solid handful of points. If you made it to the playoffs, I suspect that you already have a decent tight end on your roster unless you are unfortunate enough to be a Kellen Winslow owner like me. Heiden is a low-end starting option against the Eagles, who have issues covering tight ends, and the Bengals, but a terrible option in Week 17 against the Steelers.

Indianapolis Colts D/ST — The Colts defense has Bob Sanders back, which always raises their stock, but they also have one of the easiest playoffs schedules out there as long as you finish in Week 16, not Week 17. In Week 15, they face the Lions. In Week 16, they face a very stick-a-fork-in-them Jaguars squad. In Week 17, the Titans actually pose a challenge, but at least you know that the Colts offense will be fired up for that one. A defense focusing on strong cornerbacks is always a nice thing to have on your fantasy squad, but the Colts should be especially good these next two weeks after coming off two straight 15+ point fantasy weeks. They are a must start defense these next two weeks.

Droppables: Anyone you won’t start in the next three weeks. Purge away unless you’re in a dynasty/keeper league.

On the Wire: Week 14 Pickups and Playoff Late Bloomers from Week 13

Now, don’t go quitting the waiver wire on me because you are in the playoffs. You know that fifth wide receiver of yours has terrible matchups from here on out, and it’d be nice to replace him with a guy who has upside.

Even if you don’t need players, now more than ever, it’s important to pick up a guy that might have a nice game in the next week or two to prevent your opponents from using him against you.

That said, there’s not a whole lot to go around this week, but we’ll worth with what we got. Again, no formal Worth Claiming, Ones to Watch or Ignoring format headers for the guys this week.

J.P. Losman, QB Buffalo Bills – Yes, at long last, the Lee Evans ball return has taken the field. Losman was forced to come in for a gimpy Trent Edwards, and it looks like he may get the call to start for several weeks with no timeline set for Edwards’ hamstring injury. If weather permits, he’s a boost to Lee Evans because you know that he likes to throw that deep ball, but he’s a bang-bust option for fantasy. Luckily, he doesn’t face a really scary secondary the rest of the way — Dolphins, Jets, Broncos and Patriots.

Ken Dorsey, QB Cleveland Browns — Maybe you need a backup. Maybe you hate yourself, but there is really no good reason to pick up Dorsey unless you truly, truly have nothing else at quarterback.

Sammy Morris, RB New England Patriots — He’s back on the field and scoring touchdowns, and that means that the law offices of BenJarvus Green-Ellis are closed for now. Raiders in Week 15 anyone?

Tashard Choice, RB Dallas Cowboys – If you own Marion Barber, you should own Choice. He’s probably not worth your time otherwise because his carries will be limited and against tough defenses. I think the Cowboys would be making some more moves at the running back position if they thought Barber might miss a game or two.

Domenik Hixon, WR New York Giants — Hixon is the new Plaxico Burress, minus the stupidity and the bullet in the leg. He’s a strong replacement, but there’s not a lot to love with his remaining matchups. Best of luck to you, Hixon.

Davone Bess, WR Miami Dolphins — Another replacement, Bess seems to be keeping the receiver position alive for the Dolphins in Greg Camarillo’s absence. With the number of easy games coming down the pipe for Miami, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make Bess a permanent fixture on your bench. Pennington trusts him, and you might learn to as well.

Steve Heiden, TE Cleveland Browns — Kellen Winslow is sitting this one out. If you need a tight end this weekend, Heiden is actually not a terrible option. Dorsey, who is a terrible option, should at least be able to toss it to the tight end, and the Titans have allowed tight ends to make plays against them this season.

Garrett Hartley, K New Orleans Saints — If you haven’t noticed that the Saints have a new kicker, you probably aren’t interested in changing out your kicker for the playoffs anyway. Hartley has been perfect thus far, eight of eight on field goals in four games. Unless the Saints start scoring touchdowns left and right, Hartley should get plenty of opportunities. In fact, since taking over the kicker position for the Saints, Hartley has had more opportunities than almost all the kickers in the league.

Indianapolis Colts D/ST – Have you seen their schedule? The Bengals, Lions and Jaguars in Weeks 14-16 sounds like championship to me even if the Colts do have problems stopping the run.

You can drop: Deuce McAllister, Jonathan Stewart, Josh Morgan and, if you haven’t heard, Plaxico Burress. You should consider dropping anyone you don’t honestly see yourself considering for a start during the playoffs.

In addition to my recs, you can check out the video below with more details on pickups this week from a guy named Hatty. His name, roughly translated from the original Latin, means “wears hats.” He blogs and posts his videos at Hatty Waiver Wire Guru. Enjoy.

On the Wire: Week 13 Pickups and Waiver Wire Reserves for the Playoffs

Hope you had a good Thanksgiving, fools!

This week, with playoffs right around the corner, you probably don’t need a lot of players to solidify your lineup. If you are looking for gems, go digging through our old waiver wire posts from this season.

Still, a few guys just became relevant or might become relevant in the next few weeks as depth for your playoff bench.

By now, you probably either have a good team or a bunch of terribles. As you head into the playoffs, you’ll want to trim the fat. Drop players that you are never going to start after Week 13 and handcuff your studs with their backups or a comparable stud/starter if you can get your hands on one.

After you’ve done all that, if you still have room to pick up a few shot-in-the-dark playoff hopefuls, here’s a few guys to look at adding. For the sake of our categories (Worth Claiming, Ones to Watch, Ignoring), consider all of these guys ‘Worth Claiming’ if you have the room on your roster.

Shaun Hill, QB San Francisco 49ers — Hill’s still available in the majority of leagues, which is surprising considering that he is a Mike Martz quarterback on a team that tends to fall behind in games. Unlike JTO, he’s getting rid of the ball quickly and playing smart football. With Miami and St. Louis at the end of his playoff schedule, it’s very likely that he will outperform your current backup QB.

Trent Edwards, QB Buffalo Bills — Edwards isn’t quite done yet. While he’s had a rough patch the last several games, he found his stride against the Chiefs and had his first multi-touchdown performance this season. As long as the weather of the frigid northern tundra allows, he should return to his consistent performance from earlier in the season. Just ignore him during that Jets matchup in Week 15.

Antonio Pittman and Kenneth Darby, RB St. Louis Rams – While neither Pittman nor Darby has won over our hearts just yet, they’ve filled in admirably in place of an injured Steven Jackson for a struggling Rams squad. Whether Jackson ever makes it back to 100 percent or not, there’s no reason for the Rams to put him back out on the field. The Rams’ season is done. If Jackson sits it out the rest of the way, Pittman could be in line for decent weeks in Week 15 against Seattle and Week 16 against San Francisco, and if Darby continues to outperform Pittman, it could be Darby getting the carries in those games. They are depth options at best, but if you needed them in a pinch, it would be nice to have them on your roster.

LeRon McClain, RB Baltimore Ravens — Does anyone know what is going on in Baltimore these days? I think the running backs coach is actually just a coin flip — but not a regular coin, one of those “Two Face” style coins from Batman with a gimpy running back on one side, a fatty fullback on the other and a tiny rookie engraved around the edge. Baltimore will have to play tough down the stretch, and if McClain doesn’t end up doing that tough running, maybe he’ll at least vulture a few touchdowns.

Maurice Morris, RB Seattle Seahawks — I’ve liked Morris better that Julius Jones all season, and Morris has made his case for the starting job since returning from injury. Unfortunately, his fantasy playoff schedule is atrocious, but he does have St. Louis in Week 15.

Cadillac Williams, RB Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Warrick Dunn will need someone to give him a breather down the stretch, and Williams seems to have recovered well enough to take some carries this season. B.J. Askew and Cadillac will share the rest of Dunn’s load. No games pop off the schedule except for the Saints this week and the Falcons in Week 15, but as much as Tampa Bay likes to run the ball, it’s hard not to give Caddy a chance.

Domenik Hixon, WR New York Giants — I like Hixon better than Plaxico Burress at this point, and he’s playing this week, unlike Plax. Hixon has the talent to blow some defenses up, but with no easy games left and a running game that isn’t slowed by anyone, he’s a risky option to end the season.

Davone Bess, WR Miami Dolphins — While mostly a return man, Bess now finds himself starting with Greg Camarillo down for the season. Miami has one of the softest schedules to end the year with the Rams, 49ers and Chiefs. Watch him this week against the Rams to see how effective he is before you pull the trigger unless you are really hurting for another receiver.

Josh Reed, WR Buffalo Bills — A possession receiver in the snowy mess of Buffalo could prove valuable down the stretch, especially if you are in a PPR league and just lost someone like Greg Camarillo. Don’t expect a touchdown every week. It might be another 20+ games before that happens again.

Jay Feely, K New York Jets — Feely’s been on a hot streak the last few weeks, and now that the Jets have a strategy for winning games revolving around defense and running the football, Feely could be in line to sweep up a lot of drives that don’t make it to the red zone.

Neil Rackers, K Arizona Cardinals — It never hurts to have a kicker in a high-powered offense. Overlooking his poor week against Philly, the Arizona offense is hard to keep quiet, and he’ll have his chances to put points on the board.

Rian Lindell, K Buffalo Bills — Despite weather concerns, Lindell has been one of the top-rated kickers in the last several weeks. He’s likely to keep getting his chances, even after the weather gets bad. Let’s hope his aim doesn’t go wide right.

Who you can drop: Cedric Benson, Deuce McAllister, Derek Anderson, Carson Palmer and David Carr … always David Carr.

Foolish Thoughts on Week 12: What happened to my weekend

As you might have guessed, my weekend didn’t quite go as planned. You see, I got a new day job in Dallas — and no, it’s not as backup quarterback for the Cowboys despite the fact that Brad Johnson didn’t put up much of a fight.

If you’d rather skip the story and get straight to this week’s brief thoughts on fantasy football, click here to jump straight to the fantasy football content.

This weekend was supposed to be the big move. I had my things packed and ready to go, a UHAUL truck was reserved and the family was coming down to assist. As of Friday night, my plan was to load up the truck Saturday afternoon, make my Fools posts Saturday night for Week 12 and drive back Sunday morning with time to watch the Colts-Chargers game.

The rest of the games, sadly, would have to be watched as replays and on the DVR since every method I researched to watch live NFL football while driving a big UHAUL truck down the highway seemed too dangerous to do.

There was a slight detour in the plan when my mother called to tell me that my father wasn’t coming down to help me move as she drove down Saturday morning. He was still feeling a little under the weather, but I still thought the plan was going to work out. No big deal.

Of course, this backup plan now meant that I would be moving furniture with an aunt, my mother and my sister.

The plan was still on at this point to stay the night in Austin before departing for the Big D.

But then, to borrow a phrase from VH1’s Behind the Music, it all came crashing down … dun dun dun

As we were crashing out to sleep after loading most of the truck, my mom called my dad to find out that his condition has worsened. He wasn’t feeling good at all, and, in fact, he probably needed to head up to the emergency room on this late Saturday night to see a doctor.

My mother got packed up in a hurry, coordinated a team of relatives from both sides of the family to take my father to the emergency room and took off with my aunt to head back to Dallas in my aunt’s car just before midnight, and I was left to load the rest of the truck with my sister and take off a bit after them in the UHAUL for a caffeine-fueled, four-hour trip to Dallas.

I was tired, sweating out of every pore and pretty much ready to turn in when the plan got changed, so needless to say, the changed plan was looking pretty hopeless. Not only did I have to load the truck and take off to drive back, but I had to leave my car behind so that my sister and I could ride together and keep each other awake.

After loading the truck with my couch and bed, I purchased some Rockstar and some Mountain Dew, which I normally avoid, and we headed for Dallas to find out what was going on with my father.

Fortunately for my sister and me, I didn’t even come close to sleepy with some coffee-in-a-can Rockstar in my stomach and the butt-like aftertaste in my mouth. Pouring on the Mountain Dew and a big cup of highly-caffeinated truck stop coffee pretty much sealed the deal.

That coffee could wake the dead.

A little after 5 a.m. we finally got home, and I somehow managed to post a 6 a.m. start or sit for Hot Hands and Cold Shoulders before going into a coma Sunday. I felt like Pacman Jones returning from a night of making it rain.

(My dad was under a doctor’s care and going to be okay at this point, so don’t think I was blogging from the emergency room.)

With the moving, the sleep deprivation, starting a new job, a dad in the hospital and the caffeine withdrawals the last few days, I saw my weekend get zapped right out of my hands.

Despite the craziness, one good thing did come out of this weekend: at least I didn’t have to watch some of the Week 12 games like you guys did.

Unfortunately, following up on the games after the any given weekend festivities doesn’t make them much better.

Jay Cutler and Donovan McNabb are on my “don’t touch” list — right beside hot stoves and hookers. Cutler could easily come back strong, but I’m shaky about rolling into the playoffs with either. Tough games ahead could spell disaster. The Broncos look deflated, and the Eagles look like they are just trying to tie now that they realized they can do that.

It might be time to look at Shaun Hill, Tyler Thigpen or Chad Pennington if you haven’t already.

Brian Westbrook isn’t weathering the chunky, brown storm in Philly any better than McNabb. His performances the last few weeks clearly show he’s not healthy. I own him in one league, but I’ll be making contingency plans for him.

There are very few fantasy football rosters I would expect to see Deuce McAllister on after last week. He’s not getting the carries he used to get, and he’s bound to be suspended to end the season.

Even though he resurged this week, I still think Philip Rivers is a complete fantasy-fake douche. He’s going to fall flat at least once during Weeks 14-16 like he did in Week 11. A mistake there would cost you your playoffs. That’s it. He’s added to the list.

It was bound to happen, Tennessee fans. Eventually, some team was going to make the Titans receivers look like the players we thought they were.

The Jets had the perfect mix with a defensive line that could contain the run, and a group of corners that could play man-to-man on all the passing options, including Bo Scaife.

Kerry Collins didn’t have a chance to make a play, and a team like that isn’t going to make it far in the playoffs. Sorry, Titans. If they weren’t playing the Lions this weekend, I might dare to say they would start a downward spiral. How funny would it be if a deflated Titans team lost to the Lions to become the Lions’ first victory of the season?

Brett Favre has the Jets on pace for the playoffs, and it seems like he’s got that spark in the passing game. I still think the Jets will remain Thomas Jones’ team. Jones has some great matchups to end the season, which makes me wonder whether the Jets will even attempt to throw the ball.

Matt Cassel might be the real thing. He’s certainly better than Brad Johnson, but I have to believe he’s not a game-changing quarterback. Otherwise, why would he ride the bench since high school?

Will the Patriots pay for him? I doubt it, but you never know. If a team like Kansas City offers him a nice contract, he’s likely to take it for a starting job, but I still think he’s benefiting from a great situation. Without Wes Welker and Randy Moss making plays for him, Cassel’s not going to look nearly as Brady-like, even in a Pats uniform.

Welcome back to Darren McFadden and Terrell Owens. Nice to have you for the playoffs.

More impressions from the weekend? At this point, I think there’s a good feel for everyone you are starting, but post up a chat topic in the comments if you’d like to prognosticate about your chances in the fantasy playoffs.

On the Wire: Week 12 Pickups and Waiver Wire Remains from Week 11

By now, you’re probably headed in one of two directions with your team: prepping for the playoffs or moping in a puddle of your own tears.

If you’ve got a legit shot at the playoff picture, you want to start fortifying your team with the backups to all your studs and some average players who are positioned to do well in Weeks 14, 15 and 16 — or Weeks 15, 16, 17 if you are in one of those backwards Week 17 championship leagues.

You should also know that the rest of us hate you.

If you’re out of the playoff picture, your team probably disgusts you. You probably kicked a stud or two to the curb in anger, and you are likely to be A) not watching football the rest of the season or B) wallowing in your own self-pity and a half liter of whiskey. While that’s fun and all, don’t do that.

Instead, you should be grasping like a dead man for every waiver wire gem out there and abandoning your garbage players even if it’s for no other reason than to torment the better teams out there who could really use the slight upgrade. Do you know how satisfying it is to steal a stud’s backup from the playoff-bound owner that just lost him? Very.

Exhibit A: Warrick Dunn. More on that later.

Of course, if you are in a keeper or dynasty league, versus a traditional redraft league, you’ll want to start building your team for next year. Peruse the waiver wire for players like Josh Morgan and Donnie Avery if they’ve been dropped or never put on a roster. Injured studs like Tom Brady and Matt Schaub wouldn’t be bad to have around next season.

In short, never give up and never surrender. This is fantasy football. And that line is completely original.

Worth Claiming

Warrick Dunn, RB Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Earnest Graham is out. We have to assume that Warrick Dunn takes the starting carries despite is back pains, but the Bucs also have Cadillac Williams waiting in the wings — and now saying that he is good to start this week. You also can’t forget about B.J. Askew, the fullback. Askew could vulture touchdowns from the aging Dunn and the recovering Caddy. If you’re picking one of these guys up because you just lost Graham, I’d go after them in this order: 1) Warrick Dunn 2) Carnell “Cadillac” Williams 3) B.J. Askew.

Sammy Morris, RB New England Patriots — If you had “Law Firm” on your roster, Morris is the guy you want to upgrade to now if he is a free agent in your league. Morris is the preferred touchdown back in New England as long as he is healthy, and despite his Thursday night performance, Cassel is not good enough to carry the team on his arm. He’s just not. The Patriots will run the ball in the final weeks of the season just like they did last year when the weather got frightful, and that makes Morris a top back when he resumes his full-time role in the offense.

Pierre Thomas, RB New Orleans Saints — It’s clear that Deuce McAllister isn’t the guy anymore, and Thomas saw a great deal of the work in Week 11. Reggie Bush should return in Week 12, but when Deuce gets suspended, which is almost inevitable at this point, you’ll want Thomas on your roster. If you have McAllister or Reggie Bush or had Aaron Stecker, make the switch. Stecker and McAllister are both droppable at this point.

Ones to Watch

So you’re desperate to find running back help? There’s still a few more to watch for late in the season and/or grab for depth.

J.J. Arrington, RB Arizona Cardinals — If you’re fortifying your roster or just looking for potential talent at the end the season, Arrington should be at the top of your list. As an added bonus, he awkwardly tries to kiss his teammates without taking his helmet off. He’s the second back in Arizona behind Tim Hightower, but he saw all the red-zone carries last week. If he does well against the Giants this week (see: unlikely), some project he could challenge Hightower for the starting role. I have my doubts that he will be a starter, but Arrington definitely warrants a spot on your roster if you have Hightower right now or could use a touchdown vulture in a potent offense. Apparently, Arizona just doesn’t let their starting running back take the touchdowns. That would be unfair to fantasy owners.

Gary Russell, RB Pittsburgh Steelers — He’s a long shot, but if Willie Parker has a hard time running in the short-yardage situations, look for Russell to steal some carries. He’s definitely a deep sleeper, but he could produce in matchups just like Leon Washington this season. He won’t be of much use to you in the playoffs unless he gets a lot of touchdowns though — Ravens in Week 15, Titans in Week 16.

Ray Rice, RB Baltimore Ravens — Don’t forget about the rookie if you are looking ahead to next season (dynasty or keeper) or if you are carrying Willis McGahee. Even if we don’t know which one of these two backs you’ll want to start each week, you’ll want to own both of them going into the playoffs if you plan on relying on the Baltimore running game. In all honesty, you might be better off looking elsewhere because the only great matchup remaining for the Ravens is the Bengals in Week 13.

Ignoring

Jerome Harrison, RB Cleveland Browns — Take away that sprint for 70+ yards, and Harrison would have had another quiet fantasy day. While Jamal Lewis is on the crap list in Cleveland for calling them all quitters, Harrison is not the guy you want to rely on in the fantasy playoffs. Pass.

Droppables

Deuce McAllister, RB New Orleans Saints — He’s losing his touches to Pierre Thomas while fighting a suspension and awaiting the return of Reggie Bush. He’s a depth option at best, and when the suspension comes down, you won’t want him on your roster anyway.

Week 8 Hot Hands and Cold Shoulders

There’s a lot of hotness this week, and many players not on a bye might have their best performance of the season for you. My favorite starts are Willis McGahee against Oakland and Chris Johnson against the Colts but even Cedric Benson might break 100 yards this week. Cedric Benson — let that sink in for a second.

As usual, these are just a few players you may not think about starting every week who are bound to do well (Hot Hands), have question marks (Bubble Boys) or fall short of expectations (Cold Shoulders). Start or sit your guys accordingly, and feel free to throw more detailed lineup questions in the comments.

I’ll have answers for all the comments on Saturday night.

Hot Hands

Jason Campbell, QB Redskins vs. Lions — Come on, he plays the Lions. That screams, “Insert giant fantasy week here.”

Donovan McNabb, QB Eagles vs. Falcons — Despite his struggles, he gets his favorite target from last year, Kevin Curtis, back this week to add to the firepower of DeSean Jackson and a gimpy but likely to play Reggie Brown. On the road, I wouldn’t doubt that the Falcons defense lets McNabb have a couple of scores.

Jake Delhomme, QB Panthers vs. Cardinals — Delhomme is back on track, and when Delhomme and Steve Smith are in sync, they are one of the most dangerous QB/WR duos in the game. At home, the Panthers should tear it up on both sides of the ball. Delhomme has five touchdowns in three career games against the Cardinals.

David Garrard, QB Jaguars vs. Browns — The Browns’ pass defense is better than expected, but Garrard was on a roll and comes back from a bye. His legs should keep him effective even if he is without his best receivers.

Trent Edwards, QB Buffalo Bills vs. Dolphins — The Dolphins run defense should slow Marshawn Lynch. Luckily, Lee Evans likes to score touchdowns against the Dolphins, and Edwards should help him out with that.

Thomas Jones, RB Jets vs. Chiefs — It’s Jones’ turn to play “Red Rover” with the Chiefs (as long as he is not too tired from blowing apart Oakland last week). The Chiefs aren’t stopping anybody. Leon Washington could even fill a spot for you this week.

Willis McGahee, RB Ravens vs. Raiders — While the secondary is hit-or-miss this season, the Raiders run defense is consistent, consistently worthless. McGahee should build on his fantasy debut in Miami with a solid 2007-like week of destruction against Oakland.

Chris Johnson and LenDale White, RB Titans vs. Colts — The Colts can’t stop it even though they’re desperate for a win here. Forced to choose between the two, I’d start Johnson first.

Steve Slaton, RB Texans vs. Bengals — Ah, Bengals. Drool. Might be the last hoorah for Slaton owners though. After he has a big day, sell, sell, sell!

Deuce McAllister, RB Saints vs. Chargers — We get to see what the Deuce he can do without Reggie Bush acting as a distraction. While his carries won’t increase much, he should have more of an impact. The Chargers are terrible at stopping the pass this year, so while they are middle-of-the-road against the run, I’d expect McAllister to have a couple of chances to score a short-yardage touchdown.

Maurice Jones-Drew, RB Jaguars vs. Browns — Jags are coming off a bye and face the 26th-ranked run defense. Fred Taylor isn’t a bad bet to have a good week, but Jones-Drew could see more carries if Taylor is held back because of his concussion. Regardless, the Jags are sure to hit the 140+ yards that the Browns allow each game.

Cedric Benson, RB Bengals vs. Texans — Let’s get crazy. Benson could finally justify his place as the starter in Cincinnati if he can run through the Texans. It’ll be on him to provide enough of a distraction for Ocho Cinco and T.J. Houshmandzadeh to make the big plays.

Josh Morgan, WR 49ers vs. Seahawks — If you missed the waiver wire rec for this guy, correct that mistake. The fact that Morgan returned to put up great numbers against the Giants makes me giddy about the possibilities for him this week against the Seahawks. I’m already thinking up nicknames — suggestions accepted. Another big day here cements him ahead of Isaac Bruce as the guy to own in San Francisco. Obviously, he’s not the next Colston just yet, but as a WR3 or even WR2, Morgan has huge upside this late in the season. It doesn’t get much better than the 49ers passing schedule from here on out.

Marques Colston, WR Saints vs. Chargers — The British are just what Colston needs to get back on track. He was a little off in Week 7, but forgive him already. Unless conditions are terrible, the passing should go off in this overseas shootout, and Colston should shine like a beacon of fantasy goodness. The Chargers give up more than 250 yards through the air on average — worst in the NFL.

Donnie Avery, WR Rams vs. Patriots — The New England defense isn’t that great; in fact, their secondary has looked pretty terrible. The Broncos were just more terrible last Monday night. Avery should continue to be a deep threat.

DeSean Jackson, WR Eagles vs. Falcons — A big day for McNabb means a big day for Jackson. McNabb won’t forget about him just because Kevin Curtis is back.

Jeremy Shockey, TE Saints vs. Chargers — Even if he is cleared to play, I think Shockey might be limited again this week. Keep an eye on the injury reports. Start him if he’s your best option, but I might look elsewhere if he’s not at full speed.

Zach Miller, TE Raiders vs. Ravens — When JaMarcus Russell is running for his life against the Ravens blitz, Miller is the dump man. He puts that on his business card: “The Dump Man.”

New York Jets D/ST vs. Chiefs — There’s potential for a shutout in this one. The Jets are strong against the run, Larry Johnson is sitting, the Chiefs are down to Thigpen at QB and they are in the Jets’ house. Look away. This one could be brutal.

Bubble Boys

Peyton Manning, QB Colts vs. Titans — If this game was in Indianapolis, I might still consider playing Manning, but this game is NOT in Indianapolis. Manning is screwed. That’s pretty much the way it goes. He goes from suffering against Green Bay to facing the toughest defense in the NFL. I give him a bubble because…well, if the Colts want to get back on track, Manning has to win this one with his arm.

Brett Favre, QB Jets vs. Chiefs — Will there be anything left for Favre to do when Thomas Jones gets done?

Jeff Garcia, QB Bucs vs. Cowboys — It’s not like you’re starting him every week, but you might be considering Garcia for a second round after he helped you out last week by tearing up Seattle. Call me a homer, but I have several reasons to justify putting Garcia on the bubble: 1) The Cowboys are in back-against-the-wall mode and in danger of missing the playoffs. The pass rush could come to play and compensate for the terrible secondary. 2) If it goes the other way, Brad Johnson and Dallas’ broken offense could turn the ball over enough for pick-six scores to keep Garcia off the field. Tampa leads the league in picks. 3) Joey Galloway, if he does return, is not getting his old job at split-end back from Antonio Bryant. Therefore, no huge boost to the WR corps. 4) The Bucs are likely to be without foggy-headed Ike Hilliard. That’s not a huge blow, but he was a red zone target. 5) My gut — my Cowboy-loving gut just doesn’t like it. Take it or leave it.

Brian Westbrook, RB Eagles vs. Falcons — You can’t really give a guy like Westbrook the week off just to see how he’s coming back from that injury, but he could easily be splitting his value with Correll Buckhalter against the Falcons. If whatever you’ve been doing while Westbrook was out besides slapping yourself to feel whole again will work this week, I’d consider it. Still, if he comes off the injury report clean, he’s in my lineup.

Ronnie Brown, RB Dolphins vs. Bills — The Dolphins will have to add another wrinkle to the ‘Wildcat’ to keep it going against the Bills.

Joey Galloway, WR Bucs vs. Cowboys — Oh, happy fun time! Galloway is finally back and ready to run on those 60-year-old legs of his. Before you get too giddy, here’s what I know: Galloway might not get his starting job back from Antonio Bryant and, therefore, could be playing the slot this week. That’s, of course, only if he is healthy enough to play. I’m not sure how he will be used, so I’m not sure I love him enough.

Chad Johnson, WR Bengals vs. Texans — The weak passing defense in Houston could allow Chad Johnson to find a hole. He scored against the Steelers. It feels like it might be one of those weeks where Ocho Cinco shows up, but I’d still only play him as a WR3 or low-end WR2.

Kevin Curtis, WR Eagles vs. Falcons — I know you are starting him if you just picked him up this week, but keep in mind that this game will be his first of the season. He’ll be rusty but possibly more awesome than any receiver you were going to start otherwise. Can you afford to have rust on your starting roster? Can you afford NOT to have rust?

Cold Shoulders

Matt Ryan, QB Falcons vs. Eagles – I’m not sure why you would be considering it, but Ryan may fall off the rookie rise this week when the Eagles blitz him like he’s coated in sugar. He’ll probably hit Roddy White, but I’d look to your usual starter this week unless their matchup is this dirty as well.

Brad Johnson, QB Cowboys vs. Bucs – I have my doubts about the Cowboys this week. I’d be surprised if an aging backup was able to do well against a defense that has stifled almost every QB in the league. I don’t expect good things from Johnson or the Cowboys’ passing game even though I will be rooting for them.

Eli Manning, QB Giants vs. Steelers — I don’t like his chances against the bruising Steeler defense (at home). I don’t feel confident enough in Eli to recommend starting his this week with his recent struggles.

All Oakland RBs (Justin Fargas, Darren McFadden, Michael Bush), RB Raiders vs. Ravens — Not only should you sit all your Oakland RBs, you might want to trade them now. The Ravens have been taking RBs out left and right this season, and any one or all (see: Pittsburgh Steelers) of the Raiders backs could go down in this game if they have a bounty on their head.

Michael Turner, RB Falcons vs. Eagles — He hasn’t played well against tough run defenses. Guess what Philly is? And to make it worse, they are coming off a bye. It won’t be a good week, but at least you’ll know he tried.

Dominic Rhodes, RB Colts vs. Titans — The Titans do more than one thing well, but the one thing they really like to do best is stop the run. They’re in the top 10 of every defensive category and No. 1 in points allowed. Rhodes was a bright spot last week against the Packers, but he won’t be able to carry the Colts in this one.

Willie Parker and Mewelde Moore, RB Steelers vs. Giants — Even if Willie Parker returns, this matchup is not promising. It’s likely that Moore and Parker will still share time, and HALF of a bad day isn’t worth starting.

Kolby Smith and Jamaal Charles, RB Chiefs vs. Jets — The Jets are fourth in the league against the run. The run is all that Kansas City really has on offense. Uh oh.

Jerricho Cotchery, WR Jets vs. Chiefs — I don’t think he shows up for this game either. Nagging health issues make me want to steer clear, but he’s one you could take a chance on if you have nothing better.

A Fool and His Money in Week 8

Editor’s Note: This week might be the lowest point in the life de Chadam. I’m pretty sure I walked in on him and Terrell Owens having a group cry. He’s really gone off the deep end. If you like what he puts out there this week or just want to kick a man while he’s down, drop him a line in the comments. Maybe with a little public interaction and a slow clap…we can save him.

Nick and I did not fare well in Week 7 as we posted records of 6-8 and 5-9 respectively. Due to my especially crappy picks, my season record has fallen below .500 for the first time this year. Now, Nick is four games ahead of me.

This week, I am going to mix things up a little by choosing the underdog unless I have a compelling reason not to do so.

On to the picks…

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Dallas Cowboys

Chadam Takes: Buccaneers (+1) over COWBOYS
With no Romo, I don’t see how this one is even close. I think the Bucs win by at least 10 points. This game is my favorite pick of the week.

Nick Takes: Buccaneers (+1) over COWBOYS
This line surprised me. I know the Cowboys are at home, and Johnson will be better than he was last week. (He has no other choice really.) But the Bucs have looked legit, and Garcia has been nice and efficient with the ball in the past two weeks. I like the Bucs to win this game straight up.

St. Louis Rams at New England Patriots

Chadam Takes: Rams (+7.5) over PATRIOTS
I have no expectations for this game. Either team could win by 30, and it wouldn’t shock me — nor would a game that’s close every minute of the way.

Nick Takes: Rams (+7.5) over PATRIOTS
I don’t know about you, but I loved watching the Patriots embarrass the Broncos on Monday night. The Rams have looked surprisingly good the past two weeks. There’s no way the Patriots pull off two ass whoopings back-to-back.

Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles

Chadam Takes: Falcons (+9) over EAGLES
Philly’s stock has dropped the last couple weeks, huh? Whatever the over/under for combined rushing yards between Turner and Westbrook is, I’ll be taking the over. My guess is 300 yards.

Nick Takes: Falcons (+9) over EAGLES
Let’s see. The Falcons beat the Bears, and the Bears beat the Eagles. Wow, this is easy! Seriously, the Falcons keep overachieving this season, and the Eagles aren’t showing the progress good teams make during the season. I like the Eagles to win, but I just can’t expect them to win by double digits.

Kansas City Chiefs at New York Jets

Chadam Takes: Chiefs (+13) over JETS
Special thanks go to Jerricho Cotchery for putting up the elusive “1 receptions, 0 yards” line on Sunday. Way to justify my late third-round pick for you.

Nick Takes: Chiefs (+13) over JETS
Just going with my gut on this one. I think the Jets could easily rebound and beat the Chiefs like Larry Johnson beats women at the club, but I don’t like giving up 13 points, especially when I’m not a believer in the Jets in the first place. Side note: Congrats to Brett Favre for calling Romo and telling him to play through the pain. That way, when Romo doesn’t play, he looks like a big pansy. I heard Jessica Simpson is also complaining that he is not performing through the pain. Romo couldn’t even drive the minivan home last night.

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins

Chadam Takes: Bills (-2) over DOLPHINS
I like these Bills. They’re very quietly 5-1 and have a decent if not favorable schedule the rest of the way. They play twice against the other AFC East teams (Jets, Pats and Dolphins), and their other four games are against the Broncos, Chiefs, Browns and 49ers. They look like a strong bet to finish with double-digit wins.

Nick Takes: Bills (-2) over DOLPHINS
I still haven’t gotten to see any Bills’ game down here in Texas. That’s probably why I keep picking against them. But they’ve done enough to earn my respect, and I will now show that respect by picking them to win against a team they should win against. You better not betray me, Bills!

Oakland Raiders at Baltimore Ravens

Chadam Takes: RAVENS (-7) over Raiders
The Raiders are the worst kind of crappy team. Every once in a while, they’ll wake up and upset a better team, and Oakland happens to do it with their defense so that there is no fantasy value in a game where Oakland brings it. (Thanks again, Jerricho.)

Nick Takes: RAVENS (-7) over Raiders
The Ravens’ defense should completely shut down the Raiders. As long as Joe Flacco can make a few plays, the Ravens will handle this team just as they handled the Dolphins a week ago.

Washington Redskins at Detroit Lions

Chadam Takes: LIONS (+7.5) over Redskins
Why the hell not?

Nick Takes: LIONS (+7.5) over Redskins
I expect the Redskins to dominate and win, but every Redskins game except their Week 1 loss to the Giants has been decided by 7 points or less. They play everyone close, and for that reason, I’m taking the points. Does anybody else think the Lions will go winless? Miami was close last year, but even the 2007 Dolphins looked better than this Detroit team. Could both the Bengals and the Lions go winless? That would be amazing.

Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers

Chadam Takes: Cardinals (+4.5) over PANTHERS
After their first two games, which were decided by two and three points, the Panthers’ next five were double-digit victories, and the last four have been by 15 points or more. Just saying, when they show up, they look like Super Bowl contenders; otherwise, they’re the Chiefs. I want to see them shut down this offense.

Nick Takes: PANTHERS (-4.5) over Cardinals
The Panthers have been mauling people at home. They have outscored their opponents 108-33 at home this year. Add in the fact that Arizona has to fly to the East coast for a 1 p.m. game, and I don’t see the Panthers letting this one slip away.

San Diego Chargers at New Orleans Saints at LONDON
(You sound like you’re from ENG-land!)

Chadam Takes: SAINTS (+3.5) over Chargers
I guess Reggie gets to stay at home, eat Subway and roll around with Kim K. What a life.

Nick Takes: SAINTS (+3.5) over Chargers
I no longer know what to expect from the Chargers. The Saints will be without Reggie Bush, but I’m not sure it will matter much. The Saints are better when Deuce gets more touches anyway. I’ll take the points because I’m not sure whom to pick in this game. Both have the potential to blow teams out and get blown out.

Cincinnati Bengals at Houston Texans

Chadam Takes: TEXANS (-10) over Bengals
Go Texans! It’s not often they’re favored by double digits, but I believe.

Nick Takes: TEXANS (-10) over Bengals
It is very hard for me to pick the Texans to win by double digits against anyone. They couldn’t even beat the Lions by ten points last week. That being said, they are gaining confidence, and even their weak secondary should be able to hold down Fitzpatrick. I don’t even know his first name, and it’s not even worth looking up. — Ed. Note: It’s Ryan. Ryan Fitzpatrick. And now that you said that, he’ll probably make you remember it.

Cleveland Browns at Jacksonville Jaguars

Chadam Takes: Browns (+7) over JAGS
I’ll give the Cleveland steamers some love; even though they lost last week’s game against the Redskins, their defense stepped up for the second game in a row. I’m not sure the Browns will win, but I’ll bet that they cover.

Nick Takes: JAGS (-7) over Browns
I think the Jags are getting better every week. Yes, they are 3-3, but they have played a pretty tough schedule so far (Titans, Bills, Colts, Texans, Steelers and Broncos). It’s about to get easier as they play the Browns, Bengals and Lions in the next three games. The Browns don’t look like they are getting better anytime soon. Plus, the Jags are at home and coming off a bye week. Tough break, Cleveland.

New York Giants at Pittsburgh Steelers

Chadam Takes: STEELERS (-3) over Giants
These teams are pretty equal — great pass rushing, above-average run game and solid passing game — but I don’t like betting against the Steelers at home unless I have a good reason for doing so.

Nick Takes: Giants (+3) over STEELERS
I was expecting the Giants to blow out the 49ers last week, and they didn’t quite do it. The Steelers keep winning ugly. Something in my gut says to take the Giants in this one. I don’t know why. This one is a game I want to watch.

Seattle Seahawks at San Francisco 49ers

Chadam Takes: Seahawks (+4.5) over 49ERS
Whenever I see a spread of 4.5 points, I think it’s Vegas’ way of throwing their hands in the air.

Nick Takes: 49ERS (-4.5) over Seahawks
There is not a team I want to watch less than the Seahawks. They are so worthless they should never be on TV again. They are the equivalent of a WNBA team. I wonder why they still exist and who is actually paying to watch them play. I would rather read a book than watch the Seahawks play. I would rather watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3 than a Seattle game. I would rather eat a salad than watch Seneca Wallace try to play QB. I would rather go buy hair gel with Jacob than watch the Seahawks. Okay, that last one might not be true. — Ed. Note: I was going to provide a witty quip here in response to Nick’s attack on my use of hair gel, but I think Jason says it best. Although I don’t agree with all of Jason’s tenets of hair styling, I’ll consider it payback if Nick just watches it. Excellent.

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans

Chadam Takes: TITANS (-4) over Colts
The Titans are good. Tennessee should be giving a touchdown. I think Vegas still charges a “Peyton tax.” Peyton Manning and the Colts are so popular that Vegas gives the Colts a few more points than they deserve because of the number of people that take the Colts no matter the line. This effect could also be seen with the Patriots last year.

Nick Takes: TITANS (-4) over Colts
I’m not even mad at the Colts anymore. I’m just disappointed. It’s always worse when your parents are disappointed because you feel like you let them down. Peyton Manning has personally let me down. The Titans, on the other hand, were the only team to step up for me this weekend on all the games that I thought were locks. Thank you, Titans. You’re like the team I never had.

Last Week:

Chadam: 5-9
Nick: 6-8

Current Standings after Week 7:

Chadam: 48-49-2
Nick: 52-45-2
Simmons: 52-47-3

On the Wire: Waiver Wire Sneak Attacks from Week 7

It’s very likely that you have already tried to snag some of these guys. In fact, you might have had them on your roster, dropped them, picked them back up, dropped them again and let some other team roll with them for a week or two by now.

But maybe it’s time to pick them up again.

For the sake of repetition, we’ll repeat some of them from past “On the Wire” waiver wire suggestions — slowly this time. If these players are available now, you might have good reason to jump back on the bandwagon. The pickings will only get slimmer from here barring massive stud injuries.

Rather than sort by position, this week, I’m going to shuffle people up by upside. If these guys are at the top of the list, they’re probably the ones you want to scan the wire for first.

Worth Claiming

Deuce McAllister, RB New Orleans Saints — If no one got the memo that he was back (and seriously, who didn’t?), you should make sure you get him now. Without Reggie Bush dancing around every other play, Deuce will get some meaningful carries. His game against the Chargers this week should be a great chance for us to see how much he can do with the majority of the carries against a weak run defense. I assume the Chargers like to let opposing RBs run over them because L.T. does in practice.

Donnie Avery, WR St. Louis Rams — It’s safe to put Rams on your roster again. Avery has had several solid performances, enough for me to say he’s no longer a potential fluke. The Rams’ schedule down the stretch is a nice one, especially for the last few weeks (otherwise known as the fantasy playoffs). They play home games against Seattle and San Francisco in Weeks 15 and 16.

Josh Morgan, WR San Francisco 49ers — I’m officially off the Bryant Johnson bandwagon. It was nice riding out the storms with you, B.J., but you just didn’t hold up your end of the bargain. Morgan was injured and infected to start the season. Now that he’s back to full health, he’s also back to outplaying Johnson, and Nolan named him the starter just before being fired. I don’t think Singletary will see it any differently. Top WRs in the Mike Martz offense have huge upside value, and I really like Morgan — more than Avery.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis, RB New England Patriots –BenJarvus is the kind of guy that I hope never becomes a big fantasy star just because his name is such a pain to write out all the time. It’s almost impossible to make a nickname out of that — B.J.G.E.? Bulge? Hey, that might work. Regardless, Green-Ellis is helping out Sammy Morris throughout the rest of the season with Laurence Maroney on IR. We saw that Morris will take his licks occasionally, and this pickup is more of a stash than anything. Put him on your roster to see how his role changes in the game plans for Week 8 and Week 9.

Kevin Curtis, WR Philadelphia Eagles — Again, just a reminder that he is back and should be playing soon. Some people won’t realize he’s returned until he has a big performance, and you’ll want to make sure you get him on your roster before that happens. He could easily retake his spot as the No. 1 receiving option for Donovan McNabb.

Cedric Benson, RB Cincinnati Bengals — He’s the best they got in Cincy right now, and his value gets a bump because he’s now the starter. Small number of soft running matchups left, but at least he’s “the guy” for an NFL team if you are slim at RB.

Steve Smith, WR New York Giants — The “other” Steve Smith could have some big days ahead when the Giants face strong run defenses like the Steelers, Eagles (twice), Ravens, Cardinals and Panthers. He’s clearly Eli’s safety blanket on third downs.

Jacksonville Jaguars D/ST — Here’s all you really need to know: post-bye, healed up and playing the Browns, Bengals and Lions. The Jags might be back for at least the next three weeks.

Washington Redskins D/ST – Redskins play the Lions this week. Despite their mediocre performances this season, this week could be a chance for a huge day.

Ones to Watch

Chansi Stuckey, WR New York Jets — I am sure you were disappointed Sunday if you are a Cotchery owner, but a leg injury might have played a part in preventing him from making an impact. The latest reports say Cotchery will be questionable going into this weekend against the Chiefs, and Stuckey would be the big winner if Cotchery sits.

Malcom Floyd, WR San Diego Chargers — He’s the Chris Chambers when Chris Chambers is out, but if Chambers returns this week, he’s not really worth much. I just have to mention him because he was such a stud in Week 7 as my bye week filler.

Mike Walker, WR Jacksonville Jaguars — His knee got infected after being injured against the Steelers, but this WR was one of my big sleepers that I am watching these next couple of weeks. As soon as he is healthy, he is worth picking up. The Jags schedule couldn’t look much better these next three weeks — Browns, Bengals, Lions — and, with Jones suspended, Walker could easily become the most targeted receiver on the field once again.

Marty Booker, WR Chicago Bears – Bears are on bye this week, but the vet showed he still had moves in Week 7’s high-scoring showdown. If Lloyd continues to miss time and Hester is injured enough to be used sparingly, Booker is a nice play — especially Week 9 against the Lions.

Jamaal Charles and Kolby Smith, RB Kansas City Chiefs — Kolby Smith may be getting the workload carries with Larry Johnson out, but Charles is the more intriguing back for fantasy since he breaks for more yards. Depending on how the Larry Johnson fiasco shakes out, they might be worth acquiring by Week 10 when the Chiefs have good running matchups.

Ignoring

Javon Walker, WR Oakland Raiders — Did you even realize that Walker was playing this season? Me either. He had one nice week, but I’d like to see it again before I grab him. He’s only worth keeping tabs on for now.

Droppables

Bryant Johnson, WR San Francisco 49ers – Losing his starting job for the 49ers is a big upside killer. He’s not worth keeping on your roster. Go get Josh Morgan.

Brad Johnson, QB Dallas Cowboys — He’s a starting quarterback, but the Bucs and the Giants looked like bad games from the start. He can’t keep the offense going against the Rams, and these next few weeks could be even worse. If you are keeping him on your roster, what else do you have at QB? (I really want to know — drop me a comment.)

Patrick Crayton, WR Dallas Cowboys — Obviously, his value isn’t nil just yet, but I don’t see him having much more impact than he did against he Rams on Sunday. Don’t drop him for nothing, but I think you can safely switch him out for someone of similar or better upside now.

Chris Perry, RB Cincinnati Bengals — He didn’t touch the ball this past week, and he might not ever again. We all know if he does get it, he’ll drop it anyway.

LeRon McClain, RB Baltimore Ravens — One day, you’re fantasy gold; the next, no one wants to touch you. McGahee looked like the workhorse back against Miami even though he had to have his knee drained to play. McClain’s on a decline. If a back comes along with a better chance to succeed, I’d consider letting him off his leash.

Dante Rosario, TE Carolina Panthers – I’m impressed if you are still hanging onto this guy. He hasn’t done anything since Week 1. Let it go.

Droppable Trade Bait

Kellen Winslow, TE Cleveland Browns — I’m not one to panic, but the trade request talks and staph infection have gotten Winslow in the coach’s dawghouse. (See what I did there?) You can’t drop him, but if you can get a premium value and a decent replacement TE (Zach Miller, Greg Olsen or maybe Dustin Keller), you might consider bailing here. Winslow’s been the only consistent part of the Browns offense, but he may decline if he becomes a sore on the Browns’ side…wait, or is that just the staph?

That’s it for this week. I have to go to the doctor to get the Browns checked out.

Questions about who to drop? Wondering what player you should have grabbed instead? Feel free to comment for more in-depth roster assistance. Our operators (me) are standing by now.

A Fool and His Money in Week 7

This week, I wanted to educate you on two of my favorite types of bets, the parlay and the progressive parlay. With these two wagers, you can arm yourself with the tools necessary to lose money like Chadam and I do. Excited?

My Hard-Earned Winnings
Creative Commons License photo credit: locusolus

A parlay is when you combine several point-spread wagers into one bet. If you pick all the games correctly, you receive a big payout, but if any one of the teams loses, you lose your entire bet.

There is a very high risk in this bet, but it also has a high reward. For example, if you think the Titans, Colts and Jets are all going to cover the spread, you could make three $10 individual bets on each team. If they all win, you win $28.56 in profits ($9.52 on each).

If you bet $30 on a parlay (+644) for those three teams, and they won, you would win $64.42 profit. At the same time, if one team lost you would lose all $30 in the parlay, but you would still make $9 profit from the three individual bets.

You can do a parlay for any amount of game lines you want, but be cautious. Pick too many, and it’s a sucker bet.

A progressive parlay is similar to a parlay but with different odds for how many games you correctly choose. For example, a four-team progressive parlay may pay (+400) if you correctly choose all four games and pay (+100) if you choose three of the four correctly. You have a little room for error in your picks.

The reward for choosing all the games correctly is lower than a parlay payout, but you still have a chance of winning money even if you make one wrong pick.

Progressive parlays change depending on how many games there are. The more teams in the progressive parlay, the more incorrect picks you can make and still win money — Chadam loves these bets.

Chadam had so many lines he loved this week, he couldn’t choose just one to endorse as his favorite. He’s pimping a three-team, seven-point teaser with the Titans (-0.5), Saints (+4) and Jets (+4). Buyer beware.

I like the Colts, Chargers and Jets in a three-team parlay. I might include the Titans and make it progressive…or just make both bets.

San Francisco 49ers at New York Giants

Chadam Takes: 49ers (+10) over GIANTS
This is my mini-upset of the week, and if Elisha’s chest injury is worse than Coughlin has let on, then I’ll be looking pretty good.

Nick Takes: GIANTS (-10) over 49ers
So what if Giants lost to the Browns last week? The Giants will bounce back at home. I have no respect for Mike Martz, and I think the 49ers are overrated. That’s right, a 2-4 team is overrated. They have only beaten the Lions and the Seahawks while Seattle was injured. The 49ers won’t get more than five wins this season. Boom tho.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Cincinnati Bengals

Chadam Takes: Steelers (-9.5) over BENGALS
If I were Fitzpatrick, I would be calling in sick to work this weekend. They’ll eventually win a game, just not this one.

Nick Takes: Steelers (-9.5) over BENGALS
I think I got shafted last week because I picked the Bengals thinking they had Carson Palmer. This week, I know they don’t have him, just like I know the Bengals don’t have a chance in this one.

Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs

Chadam Takes: Titans (-7.5) over CHIEFS
I couldn’t believe it when coach Herm Edwards said the Chiefs defense looked amazing last week. Wait, they were on bye? And they were playing against the Chiefs offense? Well, that explains everything.

Nick Takes: Titans (-7.5) over CHIEFS
All Chiefs’ players are going to be disappointed because they weren’t traded away before the trade deadline this past Tuesday. They are going to have no motivation to play hard, especially against a team like the Titans. Consider this game the rent money special.

Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears

Chadam Takes: BEARS (-3) over Vikings
Yeah, I’ve decided that these two teams are the exact same, like clones of each other. Let’s roll with the home team on this one and see where it takes us.

Nick Takes: BEARS (-3) over Vikings
I’m not sure what to think about these teams after Chicago losing to Atlanta and the Vikings barely beating the Lions. Frerotte has played well so far, but I still don’t trust him.

San Diego Chargers at Buffalo Bills

Chadam Takes: BILLS (+1) over Chargers
But only because I have to cheer for Trent Edwards for a month in a league where I lost Romo.

Nick Takes: Chargers (-1) over BILLS
Move over L.T., the Chargers’ offense now revolves around Philip Rivers. Rivers is getting it done, and I expect it to continue against the soon-to-be-exposed Bills.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers

Chadam Takes: Saints (-3) over PANTHERS
It’s like these two teams didn’t even play games last week. What a line. I have a feeling Nick and I will be selling kidneys to finance our wagering on this one.

Nick Takes: Saints (+3) over PANTHERS
The Panthers’ confidence has to be a little shaken after the whooping the Bucs put on them. I expect the Saints to win if they run McAllister and keep dumping off to Bush in short screen passes. If they stick with that formula, I think they can take the division.

Dallas Cowboys at St. Louis Rams

Chadam Takes: Cowboys (-7) over RAMS
The Rams took out Washington with a lucky fumble return and some field goals. I’m willing to bet that Brad “The Human Checkdown” Johnson can beat the Rams with Dallas’ new stud, Roy Williams.

Nick Takes: RAMS (+7) over Cowboys
I love seeing the Cowboys exposed the past few weeks, but expecting the Rams to knock off two NFC East teams in a row seems a bit much. I’m going to take the points because I’m not really sure what to expect with Brad Johnson and the depleted secondary of the Cowboys.

Baltimore Ravens at Miami Dolphins

Chadam Takes: Ravens (+2.5) over DOLPHINS
The only good thing about Miami is Dexter.

Nick Takes: DOLPHINS (-2.5) over Ravens
It’s going to be tough for Joe Flacco to bounce back from his horrible showing last week against the Colts. I think this rookie has finally hit the wall.

Detroit Lions at Houston Texans

Chadam Takes: TEXANS (-8.5) over Lions
Here’s the answer to last week’s puzzle: Use the first letter of my picks to form a message for Sage. (Ed. Note: Look at Chadam finding creative ways to be vulgar.) A little late, I know, but the Indy loss still stings even after Sunday’s comeback over Miami. As for this week, I’m thinking the Texans will rush four and have the other seven defenders chase Calvin Johnson around now that Roy Williams and Jon Kitna are out of the picture.

Nick Takes: TEXANS (-8.5) over Lions
Did anyone see Dan Orlovsky run out of the back of his own end zone last week and not even realize it? Kids in Pop Warner don’t even make those kinds of mistakes. Expecting the Texans to win by more than a touchdown is tough, but I believe the Lions are that bad.

New York Jets at Oakland Raiders

Chadam Takes: Jets (-3) over RAIDERS
Didn’t the Raiders just get pwned like n00bs by 31 points? I’m finding it really hard to hate on the Jets with these money-in-the-bank lines Vegas is providing.

Nick Takes: Jets (-3) over RAIDERS
I’m not a fan of the Jets, but I love this bet. Maybe the Raiders will play hard for their new coach, but I don’t think it matters. No way the Raiders can stop Thomas Jones and Brett Favre, much less put up any points under the inaccurate arm of JaMarcus Russell.

Indianapolis Colts at Green Bay Packers

Chadam Takes: Colts (-1.5) over PACKERS
I hate to say it, but Peyton carved up a very good defense last week. I’ll give them the nod in a possible shootout.

Nick Takes: Colts (-1.5) over PACKERS
I am all about the favorites this week. The Colts finally found their offense just like I knew they would. Aaron Rodgers is about to get schooled by one of the premiere QBs in the NFL. Jeez, I’m going to be putting a lot of money down this weekend.

Cleveland Browns at Washington Redskins

Chadam Takes: REDSKINS (-7) over Browns
So much for The Zorn Supremacy. I had the stupid Redskins in an Eliminator league. Guess how that worked out. Anyways, I want to see Cleveland look good one more week before I pay them respect.

Nick Takes: REDSKINS (-7) over Browns
This is an interesting matchup because both teams performed the polar opposite of what we expected last week. The Redskins lost to the winless Rams and the Browns knocked off the undefeated reigning Super Bowl champions. I’m sticking with the Redskins because, looking at the stats last week, I determined that they should have won if it wasn’t for all those turnovers — very uncharacteristic of them.

Seattle Seahawks at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Pacman LeapingChadam Takes: BUCS (-10.5) over Seahawks
Tampa Bay is like an adopted son to me, and they are one preseason favorite of mine that is actually panning out. By the way, I visited Tampa Bay this past weekend for some boozing and baseball. If you get a chance, hit up Mons Venus. Pacman would give it two thumbs up.

Nick Takes: Seahawks (+10.5) over BUCS
I’m guessing the Bucs will be a little cocky after last week and let their guard down. As the Rams showed us, any team in the NFL is capable of winning on any given Sunday…except the Lions.

Denver Broncos at New England Patriots

Chadam Takes: Broncos (+3) over PATRIOTS
I hope the Broncos blow this game open and look good doing it so Nick will be tempted to wager on them again.

Nick Takes: Broncos (+3) over PATRIOTS
I will finally admit it; the Patriots are worthless without Brady. They just can’t seem to get any offense going. I know Belichick is using running back by committee, but he just needs to pick one so they can get some rhythm and continuity going in that offense. Matt Cassel isn’t going to provide any, so he might as well try out a running back. I think they are capable of winning this game by 10 points, but I just don’t trust them anymore. I’m going to take the points, but the Broncos are still in my doghouse.

Last Week:

Chadam: 7-7
Nick: 7-7

Current Standings after Week 6:

Chadam: 43-40-2
Nick: 46-37-2
Simmons: 44-41-3