• Everybody’s got a Wes Welker

    by  • August 10, 2010 • News • 1 Comment

    He’s quick. He’s nimble. He’s the envy of every team in the NFL, which is why every team in the NFL has got to get their hands on one.

    Wes Welker is no longer just one NFL wide receiver recovering from a knee injury using Playboy-endorsed rehabbing techniques. No, he is more than one man. A LEGEND! His name gets thrown out so much by every other team in the NFL, I think it’s time we recognized him as an actual position on the field.

    When Welker first became a Patriot, he was just a scrappy, quick-legged little wide receiver who excelled in the return game, but now…he’s so much more. He’s the one who makes everything in the Patriots’ offense possible. He’s Tom Brady’s running back equivalent. If running backs were sugar, he’d be Splenda.

    Welker’s ability to provide the outlet option for Brady almost serves as a second running game. He has that rare talent for finding the open space over the middle and on short routes that you cannot simply replace with another good athlete. There’s a reason why Welker catches so many passes; he gets thrown to a lot (162 targets in 2009, 150 targets in 2008). [via Fanhouse]

    See? He’s the icing on the cake. He’s all a man, or coach, really needs to be happy.

    But contrary to popular belief, you CAN actually replace Wes Welker with “another good athlete.” Just find your own! Let’s just stop calling that No. 2 wide receiver a “WR” altogether; instead, it’s now “WW” for Wes “the Welker” Welker, the position commonly played opposite Randy Moss or other dominant WR and specializing in turning short passes into significant gains.

    Despite bans against cloning, it appears Welker is easily reproduced in almost every offense the NFL has to offer. WWs are the new Pokémon — gotta catch ‘em all (which, oddly enough, is Welker’s slogan when it comes to footballs).

    I know…I know, you had no idea this was a phenomenon, but it’s truly become the time for WWs in the NFL. Every team’s gotta have a WW now, and it was a hot season for them during this year’s NFL draft since many teams were stuck with a depth chart full of WRs and no WWs in sight.

    If an NFL franchise didn’t have one already, they have one now. Hell, the Patriots have TWO. Just look at Julian Edelman.

    Indianapolis thinks they have a WW in Sam Giguere. In Baltimore, there’s David Reed. In Cincinnati, there’s Jordan Shipley.

    In Denver, they have Eddie Royal, who was supposed to be Denver’s Wes Welker last year and failed to live up to expectations. But you can bet he’s going to be one this year!

    In Atlanta, their Wes Welker isn’t recovering quite as fast as the original edition, but Harry Douglas is expected to fill the spot if he can manage to get back to 100 percent. (I guess the one thing they can’t clone is Welker’s Wolverine-like healing ability.)

    But who’s the hottest WW of them all? The Chiefs are plenty excited about Dexter McCluster, their running back and WW clone, and I’d say he’s gotten the most press this offseason for filling the WW role in the offense.

    Even though he spent most of his time as a running back in college, the Chiefs plan to use him all over the field and, most definitely, to fill the gap they have at slot receiver.

    So get ready, folks. WWs are about to take over a roster spot on all 32 NFL franchises. And since WWs have become such a big part of the NFL experience, it might just be time to petition our commissioners to add a WW to fantasy rosters this season. Who needs a flex spot when it could be a Wes Welker!?

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